Saturday, February 28, 2009

honey.


so i've been using oyin [which is yoruba for honey] products for about 2 years now. hands down the best products ever and i love it that much more now that i'm naturalizing and shit. it makes it ohhhhhhhh so easy. i refuse to use cheaper, generic hair products [i've tried and they don't compete] which is probably why i'm so broke most of the time. but the prices aren't too bad, nothing is more than $11 in its regular size, however i tend to stock up on the large sizes which runs me about $18 per bottle of conditioner. but it's sooooooo worth it.

it's made by a husband and wife duo out of baltimore. and everything is handmade fresh right when you order it. and they send you a piece of honey candy with every order.

it really doesn't matter what type of hair texture you have.
when i permed my hair the conditioner made de-tangling obsolete and my hair air dried straight for the most part. now it just defines the natural curl pattern of my hair and makes it extra silky soft and obedient. if they went out of business i would just die...or i would drive to baltimore and force them to tell me exactly how to make everything.

i'm not quite sure why i just felt compelled to rave about this.
hopefully it's useful to someone.

*exiting girly mode now*

Friday, February 27, 2009

bisexual. like a bicyle.



i've posted about the crazy black guy before.
do crazy people know they're crazy?

Thursday, February 26, 2009

i HATE this song.

i may be one of the only ones who don't particularly care for this song
but this may be the most entertaining random cameo having video ever.



ron howard?
ron fucking howard?
richie from happy days ron howard?!?
what is really going on.

bill bellamy?
tatyana ali?
i thought they were dead.
even his special needs sister [the big girl getting down] makes an appearance *i ain't gonna talk about the disabled*
all that was missing was madea.

but i don't understand people who can actually sing using autotune.
that shit needs to die soon.
*study break over*

Monday, February 23, 2009

fmylife.com


Today, I woke up around 5am from a party I had last night. I was still quite drunk. This chick was lying next to me from the night before. I kissed her, and about a minute and a half into some heavy making out she opens her eyes and says "Oh, it's you." Then gets up and walks out.

Today, my wife told me that if she had a penny for every time I had brought her to climax she'd have change for a nickel. We've been married for 16 years.

Today, my girlfriend dumped me proclaiming she wanted someone more like her "Edward". I asked her who Edward was. She held up a copy her "Twilight" book. She was talking about a fictional vampire. [what a dumbass]

Today, I found FML for the first time in class, and literally laughed out loud in the middle of the lecture in front of 200 classmates. Today's lecture? The cruelties of slavery.

Today, I walked past a man handing out miniature Bibles on my way to class. He proceeded to hand me one while commenting "here, you look like you need this." [this has happened to me]

Today, I went out to eat with my aunt and uncle, I barely looked at the male waiter because I'm a shy person. Then my uncle says: "YOU SHOULD TAKE OUT MY NIECE! She's never dated in her life." I'm 19 and my match maker is my uncle.

Today, my mom asked all the old ladies in her church to pray that I meet "someone special".



and my personal favorite
Today, I greeted a mom and a little girl at the place where I work. The little girl looks at me, looks back at her mom, and says, "Mommy, I hate people."

roflmao.
why did i stay up reading this site instead of doing my homework

Saturday, February 21, 2009

hip hop my main b*tch, i got a few on the side...

i've been in such a regina spektor mood lately.
that and just simple instrumental albums.
and electronica.
and listening to i would die 4 u by prince 10 times a day.
and having to resist the urge to dance uncoordinatedly in a crowd in the middle of campus

i'm rarely in an r&b mood.
i guess i'm not a good at being a black chick.

Friday, February 20, 2009

in one ear and right out the other...

when you say you love me, it doesn't matter
it goes into my head as just chit chatter
you may think it's egotistical or just worry free
but what you say i take none of it seriously
and even if I did i wouldn't tell you so
i'd let you pretend to read me
and then you'd know
cause i hate when one attempts to analyze
in fact I despise those who even try
to look into my eyes to see what I am thinking
that dream is over, your yacht is sinking
i tell all of you like i told all of them
what you say to me is just paper thin.




*roger rabbits*

Thursday, February 19, 2009

hair.

i thought about this in part because while i was reading on salon.com i learned that white people apparently have just realized that black women have a shitload of hair issues. and chris rock has a new documentary out about black women's hair all brought about by his daughter asking him why she didn't have "good" hair.
it's always fun explaining black people hair to white people. [sarcasm. i love when people marvel when it's actually soft.]


and i decided to stop relaxing my hair about 2 months ago.

my mom braided or pressed my hair up until i was about 11, then she got tired of doing it so often and had it relaxed to save time and effort. if i had a say in the matter i probably would never have gotten one. but i have hair issues just like everyone else. i feel like most "regular" black chicks if they don't want straight hair [i don't] they want the stereotypical "mixed" girl curly hair [i saw stereotypical because i've seen some pretty nappy headed mixed girls] that they can flat iron whenever they want. you know, the "good" hair. i loathe that term so much. if you hair is healthy and strong it's good, period.

but i really hated relaxers and only kept getting them to maintain my hair length. before i cut my hair almost 2 years ago, for the most part i had what is considered to be long hair for a black girl [since most people assume that black women's hair doesn't grow]
example -->

i've gotten over the feeling that i need to have longer hair to feel attractive. i've been steadily cutting my hair since that haircut and don't mind it being shorter anymore. and i love the natural texture of my hair. i like to play with it when it grows and i would loathe having to part with it when it was time to get a touch up. so a few months ago when i was playing in it and looking at photos of muhsinah with her awesome hair, i thought why the fuck am i still doing this to myself when i hate it? and i thought about graduating and moving and having to find somewhere to get it done and blahblahblah. i already use all natural hair products anyway so it's not like i'd have to find all new stuff and i stopped blowdrying and flatironing it quite some time ago so this would be the next logical step.

it was more of a pragmatic decision really. that and permed hair kind of sucks. it's only fun right after you get the relaxer and after that it doesn't really work right.

i'm not going to become some granola-munching, incense-waving, warning about the dangers of the creamy crack and shunning the lye. i hate those broads.

i just didn't want to get anymore relaxers. but that simple decision has prompted questions of why the hell would i want to do that. and still having the hair issues that i have, i really don't feel comfortable just chopping it off especially since i have a peanut shaped head. an acquaintance suggested i just shave it off like she did but she's tall and statuesque, me? not so much. so i'm just going to keep it in braids until about december and cutting it more in between getting them redone.

besides. everyone is doing it!


damn this is long.
congrats if you actually read all this

Wednesday, February 18, 2009

aubrey.



if one more person tells me i should listen to drake i will give them the look of death.
yes i've heard of him.
in 12th grade.
i still have the original rewind demo joint.
at first it was because i thought he was fine [obvi, reference pic above] and then i realized that i actually liked his music as well.

i hate assholes that feel the need to inform people that they are really really late.
and i don't want to be that asshole.
if it wasn't for his new butt buddy lil wayne, people still wouldn't know who he was other than that dude on degrassi.
that unstoppable remix goes so hard though.


*mumbles*
now i can't even like him publicly no more.

Tuesday, February 17, 2009

i hate living in nc.

simply because concerts and limited release movies are not seen here.



i REALLY want to see this movie.
she looks like a young lynn whitfield and i freaking love wyatt.
i have a feeling that it will become one of my favorites after i see it.

Monday, February 16, 2009

chris brown'd

[it's kinda sad that in his 2-3 year career he's been reduced to a euphemism for domestic violence]


but anyway.

me and my friend were going to wal-mart.
and as we're slowing down at a stop light i look over and see a man reach back and punch the female passenger beside him in the face. and then grab her by the back of the head and push it into the dashboard twice.


i really hope i misinterpreted what i saw and they were just a couple playing around.
i'm not a big fan of really divulging my forreal personal life, but i was quite acquainted with domestic violence in the past and there's really no excuse to hit a woman, especially a defenseless one.

i'm aware that some women act a fool and start hitting on a man. but men are usually bigger and stronger than women. he can easily just hold her arms and control her or just walk away. and there's a big difference between fighting back to get someone to stop hitting you, and all out beating their ass.

now if a dude's girl is big bertha or a trained fighter and she's beating his ass, fighting back is acceptable, but that's rarely the case when a dude hits a woman. the dude's usually some insecure asshole who doesn't have respect for himself or others. or he's just crazy.


sigh.

Thursday, February 12, 2009

he gon' think i'm a ho.



no this isn't relevant to my life.
i was listening to the love below [lover hater, happy valentine's day and all] and thought this interlude would make the perfect short. lo and behold...youtube has all.

the version in my brain had a much better execution, but it serves the purpose.
i want to shave her head though.

Wednesday, February 11, 2009

hmmmmmmmmm endorphins

dancing around and cleaning your room while absentmindedly watching a duke-unc game is a pretty intense workout.

Tuesday, February 10, 2009

from a cashier.

so i hold the lowly job of a cashier in a shitty campus store. but as a cashier, i have learned that a great number of people are simply retarded.
here are several things that you probably shouldn't do while at any retail establishment in order not to piss me off

1) don't ask me how much something is that you've brought to the counter, or the size of the item that you have picked out

what were you doing while you were shopping? isn't part of shopping looking at the price and making sure that it's the proper size that you need? or do you just skip through the stores picking up things hoping that you get lucky and pick up the right thing? stop.

2) this may just be me. but seriously, i don't care about your life.
again. i don't care about your life.
i don't need some drawn out explanation of why you're returning something or why you're buying 5 hershey bars. this also goes for talking on your phone around the register (which is kinda rude btw) telling everyone your personal business loud as fuck.
i'm looking at you, girl who was discussing how her crotch was hurting after some frat party last night. (i shit you not a girl was discussing this in public)
but yeah. i don't care.
unless you're attractive.
and do not assume you're attractive.
buy your shit and go away.

3) you know you have to pay money for whatever it is that you have. especially when you've been standing in line. can you at least know where your fucking wallet/money is before you get to the register?

4) pay attention. you look like an idiot swiping your card in the machine like you have parkinsons when i'm trying to ask you to clarify which way that you're paying. you know, before you decide that you actually want to pay with cash. asshole.

5) don't wink at me. perv.
and why do girls wink? that is the weirdest thing ever.

6) if i say we're closing in 10 minutes. that does not mean that you have 15 minutes to come in and shop. it means turn around and go away.




i could list other annoyances but my study break is over.
if you just start with those things...i and all my cashier brethren won't overcharge you or "accidently" drop your change on the floor

Monday, February 9, 2009

Saturday, February 7, 2009

the hype.

i don't get it.
why is lady gaga considered so awesome?
i listened to some of her songs and i felt like i heard them before sometime around '98

then i saw the video.
oh. that's why.

she's all "stylish" and "futuristic"
blah.
if you don't have the music to back it up, who cares?
not saying i wouldn't hop around in a gay club drunkenly to it. but i wouldn't put it on my mp3 player. but i guess that's the only purpose of it.

sometimes i wish music videos were never invented and people were just judged on their songs. but then people that are great performers but not that great of singers [i.e. janet jackson, kylie minogue, madonna] wouldn't have careers

this is all personal opinion but i think people are so sick of the wack shit out now that whenever something is "different" it's hailed as great *cough808sandheartbreakcough* even though it really isn't better, it's just different.


but hey if it weren't for music videos, then we wouldn't be blessed with the "ever-stylish" songstress rihanna.
ha.

she went from this

to this in about a year.


and still can't sing OR dance.
i hope she pays her stylists handsomely.


what was i talking about?
and what's with these wale blog titles...

Friday, February 6, 2009

good day.

i need a good day.

one where i just wake up when i feel like it.
long shower. throw on a well worn favorite tee and some beat up jeans and chucks.
like what i see in the mirror and my hair isn't contrary.

eat some sushi or something involving guacamole. and some blue gummi sharks.
wander around with some friends to random places where there aren't a lot of people.
have enough money to spend if necessary.
take lots of random photos.

end the day with white wine and silly laughter before falling asleep in some random place not worrying about what i have to do the next day.




i think that only happens in movies.
right before some dramatic shit is about to happen.

Wednesday, February 4, 2009

coraline




for some reason i really want to go see this movie.
i got tired of seeing the promos and wasn't really interested in seeing it until i learned that the book that the movie is based on was written by neil gaiman who co-wrote 'good omens' which is one of my favorite books.
how nerdy of me right?

that and i want to see what all this hullabaloo is about sneaker passwords.

Monday, February 2, 2009

the artistic integrity






what where you thinking?
what was going on in your mind?
artistic integrity?
where did you come up with that?
you're not artistic and you have no integrity.