Showing posts with label dear _______. Show all posts
Showing posts with label dear _______. Show all posts

Friday, February 19, 2010

dear barack h. obama


look.
i love you man.
i voted for you.
you were a historic president and all that jazz.
you're the first good-looking [in my correct opinion] president and you're cool as shit.
fuck what them hating ass tea-baggers say. you are fine by me.

but get your shit together please.
please stop pussyfooting around the place trying to make everybody happy.
i understand that you like to think things through before you do them, people don't know what to do with that after 8 years of curious george.
i'm not getting into specific policy cuz i got other shit to do...but you know what i'm talking about.

clearly republicans are on some other shit and not in the mood to help govern their country for the next 2 years. fuck them.
they want to cry and complain about taxes and socialism and a bunch of bullshit.
to be honest...you haven't changed much of anything since bush (they played some factor in this blocking and making noise when you attempt to do anything, the other part...idk what the hell you're doing/trying to do)
them complaining about you being a radical socialist communist marxist nazi is just a bunch of bullshit. SOME of these people just want to call you a uppity ass nigger and can't do so, so they just vent their disrespect in other ways.

they had dems shook in the bush years...and they have you shook now.
democratic president. democratic majority in the congress...yet you're bowing to republican demands and desires.
in the words of whatever ig'nant ass rapper said this, i have no idea...where they do that at?

[SN: i googled it and several artists came up including the name ballgreezy....
...
...
i can't.]

take a cue from the republicans and grow some balls.
when republicans were in power...THEY DID WHAT THE FUCK THE WANTED.
even when people didn't like it.
the said fuck privacy, fuck the environment, fuck the economy. fuck the soldiers' wellbeing.
and called anybody that disagreed with them unamerican/unpatriotic
i'm not saying go to that extreme

but you're just trying to pass some universal healthcare...at the most meager of levels. i understand the baby steps approach. i know we can't go for the whole enchilada the first time around, people have to get acclimated and realize they like it before you can take it further. but push that shit through! and not EVERYTHING has to be televised...people obviously can't handle actually watching how laws get enacted in this country. they realize how selfish individual politicians are. everybody hates politicians but loves their own...americans don't make sense.

i KNOW you're stressed. hell if it were me i would have been chucked the deuce and quit this bitch. some new tragic shit happens literally every month on your ass that you have to deal with that distracts you from all the old shit you were dealing with before. the american people aren't helping. they don't know what the hell they want. they want to stop spending and make new jobs at the same time. make government smaller, yet have their problems fixed first. i'm not saying ignore them...but ignore them. most of them are stupid and drunk off high fructose corn syrup anyway...and i honestly believe that your heart is in the right place and you're trying to make at least a little improvement in your term

but you asked for this, so you need to get on your fucking job so i can have some good stories to tell my nonexistent future kids about how you kicked ass and said fuck your name instead of just being black and a president.


p.s. michelle? you're perfect. don't change a thing.

in re-reading this...i curse too much.
i save my eloquent and extensive vocabulary for school and white people.
but this is how i talk in my head...and this is how my letter is written.

Tuesday, December 15, 2009

dear blu.


dear blu.
aka johnson barnes
can i call you john?
i love that your last name is barnes so that when i marry you in my dreams i don't actually have to change my last name.
frankly.
i love you.
you made me care about hip hop again.
(and you're cute and super-tall and witty but that's neither here, there, nor anywhere)
i even own a shirt with your face on it.
i don't do that often.
you release pure and utter gold

and then you fade to black.
doing a feature here and there is unacceptable
please stop playing with my emotions.

it was so nice of you to perform in raleigh on my 20th birthday this year.
please release another album by my 21st.
that would be grand.

thanks in advance.

Saturday, May 30, 2009

to whomever it may concern that is looking intently at my head.

#1 [and most importantly] NO YOU CAN'T TOUCH MY HAIR.

*seriously, why does everyone (regardless of the extent of their relationship with me) want to touch my hair? one of my friends (white guy) got upset with me for not letting him touch it. he wanted to because he had never seen hair like mine apparently. i kinda got pissed at him because he said something to the effect of black women won't let people touch their hair but they can touch his. i kindly informed him that that had nothing to do with me since i'm not a proxy for all black women and i'm not all that interested in touching his hair.

i didn't like people touching my hair when it was straight. i don't let my mom touch my hair. if i let you touch my hair: you probably snuck it in without me noticing and i don't want to be a complete bitch, we are good friends, or you have a very good chance of having sex with me*

#2 i am not a lesbian.

#3 i don't write poetry, neo-soul is not my favorite genre of music, and i don't burn incense (i prefer blogs, hip-hop and alternative music, and bourgie ass candles)

#4 [to black people] please stop trying to grade my hair.

apparently my hair has been deemed just barely good by the negro hair council. not nappy per se but not mixed girl curly/straight. it's a c- on the grading scale of goodness. it's just barely acceptable but it needs some tutoring (straightening) for a good grade.

please stop. it's hair.

#5 i'm not a vegetarian/vegan/environmentalist

#6 [to black women]i don't care what you do to your hair. i don't care to convert you to the side of nappyness

#7 while it is sweet, calling me sister/queen/whatever gets annoying. brittney/pb is just fine.

#8 i guess it's nice that you're curious and whatever, but if i hear 'how did you get your hair like that?' one more time... it just what it does!


did i forget anything?


*on the plus side, my mom said my hair was 'kinda cute' the other day which is a big step up from her grimacing and saying 'i have to get used to it'*

Friday, May 8, 2009

dear woman with a camera phone/webcam/whatever

if you take pictures of your naked ass.

your intended recipient will never be the only one that sees it.
never ever.

it may just be shown to his best friend/his boys.
it may be shown to the world.

hell when i was in high school we had both a sex tape of some girl and naked pictures of another. both of which were for "private" purposes.

it never happens.


stop playing.

Monday, January 26, 2009

dear kanye pt. 2





why.
at least with lil wayne i can blame drugs for his foolishness, such as coming out with a "rock" album [wtf? i'm sure the "sooooooo different" black kids and hot topic crowd will gobble it up]

i understand you lost your moms and the love of your life.
but stop.

stop trying to be taz arnold.
and cut your damn hair.

Thursday, November 6, 2008

dear travie.



[two times for niky and how good these pics actually came out, i was in the 10th row with no flash allowed]

you know i love you right?
i didn't even like dudes with neck tattoos and here you came and spawned my fetish for men covered in tattoos [that aren't lil wayne]
you and that adorable goofiness.
i even love you despite you dating that wack ass 'i kissed a girl' girl.
i mean really?

but that's neither here nor there.
you can't help who you fall in love with i guess.

i fell in love with you for the papercut chronicles.

but you go and drop the overproduced yawn that is 'the quilt.'
i TRIED so hard to like it because i love you.
i can't.
and i'm only blaming you because the focus is on you and not the band.
however performing 'when doves cry' at your concert and the fact that you supported obama has absolved you of everything

but please do better my love.


perhaps next time we can have an album focusing on disashi and his awesomeness.



p.s.
dear de jesus.



haaaaaaaaaaaay.


Wednesday, October 29, 2008

Tuesday, October 21, 2008

dear kanye.


if you do one more song with a voice synthesizer thingamajig.

i will quit you.
i'm so serious.
stop that shit.
now.
you're not that great.

AND STOP DRESSING LIKE THE BLACK PEEWEE HERMAN.
and shave please.



on a side note...
808s and Heartbreak is a dope album name
and people will buy it just because you're kanye.
those are probably those people that wore those ugly ass impractical sunglasses just because you did.
i hate those people.