three random personal hair musings

*yes guy subscribers it's a hair blog...feel free to ignore*

1) i have no hair styling skills whatsoever.
every time i've tried any style other than 2-strand twists or single braids...it has ended in complete disaster. i TRIED to do flat twists last week...however this was on hair that had already been stretched with a braid out.
i should have known it wasn't going to come out right, my twists looked nothing like the nice lady in the youtube vid's...but i just shrugged and put on a scarf and went to bed.
the result?
the front of my head looked like it had been pressed, then i went to the sweatiest raunchiest club and sweated it out grinding on strangers. not cute.




stick to what you know.

2) just because a product is expensive doesn't mean it's good.

this should go without saying but sometimes people forget it.
i...um...liberated a 2 oz. travel bottle of bumble & bumble's creme de coco moisturizing conditioner from walmart the other day. [THAT SHIT WAS $8. FOR 2 OZ! and it's like $25 for 8 oz. i would like to meet the woman who can afford that shit...then i would slap her and tell her to donate it to chile and haiti and buy some herbal essences] i wanted to see if the product warranted the outrageous price

well i tried it and it was HORRIBLE. my hair was just as dry...i might as well have just shampoo'ed it and air-dried it. and i used it, adding coconut oil and deep conditioning for 2 hrs. smh. glad i didn't pay for it...ahem i mean...that i liberated it.

3) although i love henna, i have to give it a rest for a while.

at first i didn't believe the curl-loosening effects of henna since i've used it forever, but now it's become ridiculously apparent. while it is a good strengthener it DOES loosen the curl, but only the hair that was already more loosely curled in the first place.
my loosest hair is at the front of my head, it was already 3c, and with continued henna use it's making it start to wander into 3b territory. now this wouldn't be completely horrible if that 3c hair wasn't smack dab next to the 4a hair on my temples. any loosening effects on the 4a portions of my hair have been little to none. you can probably imagine how ridiculous that looks...if not here's a picture




i make the loveliest faces, i know.

why can't we all just be bald?

year one.

*warning...long post*

so...it's been about one year since the last relaxer and i kinda love it.

even in high school i thought about stopping perms, but i was so attached to my long straight hair. then when i got to college and got it cut off freshman year due to dead ends and unevenness, i thought even harder about it. when it started to get thin and contrary during the first semester of my junior year that was it for me.

i have infinitely less bad hair days. i used to feel like my hair was so thin and i hated stick-y ponytails. [we've all seen the hot mess stick-y ponytail...when the head might move but the hair doesn't and it sticks straight out looking a dreadful mess]
now even if my hair is extra frizzy and kinky, i can just make it bigger and put on a headband and it looks like i did it on purpose.

what do i with it? i'm glad you asked.

1) i don't put heat on my hair. at all. i don't even own a blowdryer or flat iron. [good thing since my janky ass apt doesnt have outlets in the fucking bathrooms]

2) i henna it once a month. i've been henna-ing my hair since sophomore year when i was still relaxed...i really like the conditioning treatment it gives my hair and the slight reddish tinge.
(TRY IT)

3) i have a satin pillowcase & comforter because i'm too lazy to put on a bonnet or whatever so i just hop in the bed at night after dabbing a little moisturizer and un-smush in the morning if necessary.

i'm still an oyinhandmade addict. [they make awesome youtube vids too, here's another that shows you their process. how can you not love a business like that?] i'm probably one of their most loyal customers since i end up ordering something from them every month. the only time i've strayed is with qhemetbiologics amla and olive heavy cream [pretty good product, it's always out of stock though] or one time with carols daughter when i ran out of oyin and needed something to hold me over...i HATE carols daughter but i digress. i recommend...everything oyin makes. [except my beloved honeyhemp conditioner and juices&berries aren't good for the cold winter...but every other season = holy grail]

i shampoo when necessary with dr. bronners castile soap or baking soda. mostly cowash with herbal essences hello hydration and sometimes leave-in with aubrey organics honeysuckle rose conditioner.
my hair is pickypickypicky. if cheap drugstore shit worked on it, i'd use it...but even my hair is bourgie. most cheap stuff leaves it dry or greasy/sticky...no bueno. i've tried making my own stuff but it's hit and [extreme] miss, so i just buy other folks' stuff.

pictorial recap? i'm glad you asked that too.

long hair in 06/07. i'd be lying if i said i didn't miss it...it'll be back soon enough.

thin w/scraggly ends in 08

[may] 5 months of transitioning, one night i just got irritated at the two textures and went to town in the bathroom. this is the day after i bc'd...kinda. note the permed ends still there

[june] ends still there. no idea why i was clinging on to hair i had to cut anyway.

[august] ends gone. have yet to learn the art of twisting/stretching my hair

[september] still haven't mastered twisting. my aforementioned texture differences are kinda noticeable here]

[november] started wearing twists out of the house. ignore my facial expression, i dont know any better

[mid-november] this is my version of a bad hair day now. it's disobedient, i put on a headband and ignore it

[december] twist-out mastered!

gratuitous. i took this last sunday cuz i thought i looked cute.

my hair stretched reaches my shoulders in a layered fashion.
i don't know if that's shorter or faster growth than normal.
so far i think this thing on my head is awesome. i have a lot more styling options and it grows so much faster. i've even inspired one of my best friends to consider it. [i doubt she'll actually go through, but it's a start] i love whenever i see a kinky comrade we always end up talking about hair and exchanging compliments and tips.

it's christmas eve and i'm out of juice...i've been tweaking this post for like a week. most people probably won't read this until i post again anyway since everybody's doing december things.

blahblahblah.
natural hair ftw.

my retarded hair.

*procrastinationatory babble*

i know i'm not the only kinky headed gal who has this problem, but it's almost comical how different my hair textures are. i literally can't rock a wash&go because i tend to look ridiculous.

here are pics i took the other day freshly washed and squeeze dried with a tshirt with no added hair products.
my hair is pretty much the same length all over but my sides shrink a lot more than what i like to call the mohawk area (the loose texture goes straight back like a mohawk)




you can literally see the point where my hair changes its mind on what it wants to be lol.

my front middle flops onto my forehead and i have to push it back up so that it won't look weird compared to the sides *ignore my makeupless acne'd untamed eyebrowed face, however note the displeasure*




my mohawk area, for the most part, acts right regardless of what i do to it and is obviously a lot looser. my kinky sides...they do not care whatsoever what i desire or what i think about them. i guess i can respect that. they laugh hysterically at any moisturizer i put on them, swallow it in one gulp and look at me expectantly for more. the back of the sides have almost no definition when dry while the back of the middle is springy curls...it looks crazy.



top 'o my head



back 'o my head.



after these were taken i promptly twisted my hair since twists make my hair pretend like it's one cohesive texture.

does anyone else have this problem? what do you do? i hate looking like i got a texturizer just in the middle of my head...i'm considering putting one on my sides, but i feel that it could go horribly awry...

ughh still?

i was talking to one of my old friends from high school, somehow the conversation turned to hair and i casually mentioned that she would look cute with a fro.

"i'm too dark for that"


ughhhhhhhhhh.


mind you my friend is gorgeous. perfect figure, perfect clear skin, perfect white teeth which subsequently leads to a perfect smile and she has great fashion sense. yet somehow she still has jacked up color and hair issues which i have long given up on fixing

when we were in high school and i had long hair, she would always offhandedly remark on how since i'm lightskinned [that's subjective, i don't think i am] and had long hair that life was easier for me and i shouldn't complain about anything ever. and she also told me that i could do that "natural shit" because i'm light and cute and have "good" hair [i don't, lol] mind you, this girl shits on me, in my opinion, in all areas of physical attractiveness, but she never believes me when i tell her this.

but then again i don't live her life, so i can't speak for what she goes through

when i gave my subsequent silly not serious/but serious response and then asked 'how are you too dark for the hair that grows out of your head'
she replied, life isn't fair/doesn't make sense, but it is what it is.


i refuse to believe that.

i feel like the majority of people that have a problem with natural hair are other black people. white people fucking love my hair. i'm sure that is partly due to it being "different". but the most compliments and encouragement i ever got to go natural and after i did so (other than from other naturals) was from non-black people. just the other day an indian girl (the people that be-weaved dreams are literally made of) stopped me to tell me how pretty my hair was.

once again, how can one be too anything for something that naturally occurs on their bodies. that's like saying i'm too short for this nose. it makes no sense.
now if she just said that she preferred to have straightened hair i wouldn't have cared since i'm not a "natural nazi" (i hate the casual use of the word nazi) and i think you should do whatever with your hair that makes you happy. but assuming that you would be ugly with it because of your skin? i guess that goes back to the posts on the hair blogs about how some think only "pretty" girls can be natural. i think my friend is gorgeous, but maybe she doesn't think so...


blah. maybe i'm reading too much into it. maybe it's the same as not wanting to be without bangs because you have a big ass forehead. i don't think it is though...

the magic stick/bored with my hair.

so i've posted about how my skin pisses me off and have finally found something that is starting to work for me. other than washing my face with whatever is lying around [i refuse to buy any new face wash before i use up what i already have] i've been using this thing[it's $8 @ whole foods and $5 @ trader joe's. whole foods is such a fucking rip off.]

i apply this stuff morning/night and whenever i'm sitting around absentmindedly during the day. my blemishes go down really quickly and my existing marks are starting to fade. plus it's all-natural and all that hippie shit.

i've kind of been ignoring my hair. well, actually i guess you could say that i've been wearing it in a "protective style". i like my hair texture but i feel like it's too short for me to really do anything with so i wash it once a week, twist it with oyinhandmade whipped pudding, pin it up, and wear hats all week [with a scarf underneath and still moisturizing every night] and wear a twist out on weekends. i figured i'm not seeing anyone since school isn't in session and i'm just going to work, it doesn't really matter what my head looks like lol.
i'm sure when school starts i'm going to have to keep it up nicely and actually do something to it until i get braids next month. grrrr.

to whomever it may concern that is looking intently at my head.

#1 [and most importantly] NO YOU CAN'T TOUCH MY HAIR.

*seriously, why does everyone (regardless of the extent of their relationship with me) want to touch my hair? one of my friends (white guy) got upset with me for not letting him touch it. he wanted to because he had never seen hair like mine apparently. i kinda got pissed at him because he said something to the effect of black women won't let people touch their hair but they can touch his. i kindly informed him that that had nothing to do with me since i'm not a proxy for all black women and i'm not all that interested in touching his hair.

i didn't like people touching my hair when it was straight. i don't let my mom touch my hair. if i let you touch my hair: you probably snuck it in without me noticing and i don't want to be a complete bitch, we are good friends, or you have a very good chance of having sex with me*

#2 i am not a lesbian.

#3 i don't write poetry, neo-soul is not my favorite genre of music, and i don't burn incense (i prefer blogs, hip-hop and alternative music, and bourgie ass candles)

#4 [to black people] please stop trying to grade my hair.

apparently my hair has been deemed just barely good by the negro hair council. not nappy per se but not mixed girl curly/straight. it's a c- on the grading scale of goodness. it's just barely acceptable but it needs some tutoring (straightening) for a good grade.

please stop. it's hair.

#5 i'm not a vegetarian/vegan/environmentalist

#6 [to black women]i don't care what you do to your hair. i don't care to convert you to the side of nappyness

#7 while it is sweet, calling me sister/queen/whatever gets annoying. brittney/pb is just fine.

#8 i guess it's nice that you're curious and whatever, but if i hear 'how did you get your hair like that?' one more time... it just what it does!


did i forget anything?


*on the plus side, my mom said my hair was 'kinda cute' the other day which is a big step up from her grimacing and saying 'i have to get used to it'*

craze.

...wait...what?

so my aunt picture messages my mom a pic of my little cousin who had her hair flat ironed and it reached her butt and said that she had hair just like my mom's

*all of my aunts have very thin hair but my mom had ridonkulously long [butt length un-straightened] hair when she was young*


so i asked..."ummm why did you get a perm, again?"

"because it was really long and thick"


*blank stare*




oh what a horrible problem to have.
wouldn't a simple haircut remedy that?
blah.

preference.

so the longer i get settled into this natural thing and reading my natural hair blogs, the more i develop a preference for people with natural hair.

i remember in social psych [i hate social psych, i feel like it's a waste of money paying people to do tons of research to tell us shit we already know] one of the few new things i learned was that once people make decisions, they then look for things that support their thoughts and look for bad things about the choice that they rejected [it has a technical name, but i never went to that class...]

i've always had a preference for men with curly hair/fros/dreads (basically anything i can pull/grab except cornrows) but i used (like up until i was 17) to think that the only way that a girl could be pretty , if she didn't have "good" hair, was to have it be straightened. now i find straight hair boring and i don't like the way most perms look on people. i also have found myself for the past year or so always complimenting girls with natural hair.

i miss playing in my hair due to these damn braids. i was sick of them after a week, but since my mom paid for them, i'm stuck until at least the end of may.

my potential chopping dates are either in june [6 months], august [when school starts], or december [1 year]. which one should i do?

loud sigh.

*mom sticks her uninvited hand into my hair*

*makes noise*

mom: are you sure you want to do this? it's thick.

me: that's the point. thanks mom.

mom: i mean...as long as you like it. i want to see how this goes

me: why did you get a perm in the first place

mom: because it was too thick, i couldn't comb it

me: you don't comb it half the time now

mom: that's not the point


oh old[er] black women...

honey.

so i've been using oyin [which is yoruba for honey] products for about 2 years now. hands down the best products ever and i love it that much more now that i'm naturalizing and shit. it makes it ohhhhhhhh so easy. i refuse to use cheaper, generic hair products [i've tried and they don't compete] which is probably why i'm so broke most of the time. but the prices aren't too bad, nothing is more than $11 in its regular size, however i tend to stock up on the large sizes which runs me about $18 per bottle of conditioner. but it's sooooooo worth it.

it's made by a husband and wife duo out of baltimore. and everything is handmade fresh right when you order it. and they send you a piece of honey candy with every order.

it really doesn't matter what type of hair texture you have.
when i permed my hair the conditioner made de-tangling obsolete and my hair air dried straight for the most part. now it just defines the natural curl pattern of my hair and makes it extra silky soft and obedient. if they went out of business i would just die...or i would drive to baltimore and force them to tell me exactly how to make everything.

i'm not quite sure why i just felt compelled to rave about this.
hopefully it's useful to someone.

*exiting girly mode now*

hair.

i thought about this in part because while i was reading on salon.com i learned that white people apparently have just realized that black women have a shitload of hair issues. and chris rock has a new documentary out about black women's hair all brought about by his daughter asking him why she didn't have "good" hair.
it's always fun explaining black people hair to white people. [sarcasm. i love when people marvel when it's actually soft.]


and i decided to stop relaxing my hair about 2 months ago.

my mom braided or pressed my hair up until i was about 11, then she got tired of doing it so often and had it relaxed to save time and effort. if i had a say in the matter i probably would never have gotten one. but i have hair issues just like everyone else. i feel like most "regular" black chicks if they don't want straight hair [i don't] they want the stereotypical "mixed" girl curly hair [i saw stereotypical because i've seen some pretty nappy headed mixed girls] that they can flat iron whenever they want. you know, the "good" hair. i loathe that term so much. if you hair is healthy and strong it's good, period.

but i really hated relaxers and only kept getting them to maintain my hair length. before i cut my hair almost 2 years ago, for the most part i had what is considered to be long hair for a black girl [since most people assume that black women's hair doesn't grow]
example -->

i've gotten over the feeling that i need to have longer hair to feel attractive. i've been steadily cutting my hair since that haircut and don't mind it being shorter anymore. and i love the natural texture of my hair. i like to play with it when it grows and i would loathe having to part with it when it was time to get a touch up. so a few months ago when i was playing in it and looking at photos of muhsinah with her awesome hair, i thought why the fuck am i still doing this to myself when i hate it? and i thought about graduating and moving and having to find somewhere to get it done and blahblahblah. i already use all natural hair products anyway so it's not like i'd have to find all new stuff and i stopped blowdrying and flatironing it quite some time ago so this would be the next logical step.

it was more of a pragmatic decision really. that and permed hair kind of sucks. it's only fun right after you get the relaxer and after that it doesn't really work right.

i'm not going to become some granola-munching, incense-waving, warning about the dangers of the creamy crack and shunning the lye. i hate those broads.

i just didn't want to get anymore relaxers. but that simple decision has prompted questions of why the hell would i want to do that. and still having the hair issues that i have, i really don't feel comfortable just chopping it off especially since i have a peanut shaped head. an acquaintance suggested i just shave it off like she did but she's tall and statuesque, me? not so much. so i'm just going to keep it in braids until about december and cutting it more in between getting them redone.

besides. everyone is doing it!


damn this is long.
congrats if you actually read all this