dear barack h. obama

look.
i love you man.
i voted for you.
you were a historic president and all that jazz.
you're the first good-looking [in my correct opinion] president and you're cool as shit.
fuck what them hating ass tea-baggers say. you are fine by me.

but get your shit together please.
please stop pussyfooting around the place trying to make everybody happy.
i understand that you like to think things through before you do them, people don't know what to do with that after 8 years of curious george.
i'm not getting into specific policy cuz i got other shit to do...but you know what i'm talking about.

clearly republicans are on some other shit and not in the mood to help govern their country for the next 2 years. fuck them.
they want to cry and complain about taxes and socialism and a bunch of bullshit.
to be honest...you haven't changed much of anything since bush (they played some factor in this blocking and making noise when you attempt to do anything, the other part...idk what the hell you're doing/trying to do)
them complaining about you being a radical socialist communist marxist nazi is just a bunch of bullshit. SOME of these people just want to call you a uppity ass nigger and can't do so, so they just vent their disrespect in other ways.

they had dems shook in the bush years...and they have you shook now.
democratic president. democratic majority in the congress...yet you're bowing to republican demands and desires.
in the words of whatever ig'nant ass rapper said this, i have no idea...where they do that at?

[SN: i googled it and several artists came up including the name ballgreezy....
...
...
i can't.]

take a cue from the republicans and grow some balls.
when republicans were in power...THEY DID WHAT THE FUCK THE WANTED.
even when people didn't like it.
the said fuck privacy, fuck the environment, fuck the economy. fuck the soldiers' wellbeing.
and called anybody that disagreed with them unamerican/unpatriotic
i'm not saying go to that extreme

but you're just trying to pass some universal healthcare...at the most meager of levels. i understand the baby steps approach. i know we can't go for the whole enchilada the first time around, people have to get acclimated and realize they like it before you can take it further. but push that shit through! and not EVERYTHING has to be televised...people obviously can't handle actually watching how laws get enacted in this country. they realize how selfish individual politicians are. everybody hates politicians but loves their own...americans don't make sense.

i KNOW you're stressed. hell if it were me i would have been chucked the deuce and quit this bitch. some new tragic shit happens literally every month on your ass that you have to deal with that distracts you from all the old shit you were dealing with before. the american people aren't helping. they don't know what the hell they want. they want to stop spending and make new jobs at the same time. make government smaller, yet have their problems fixed first. i'm not saying ignore them...but ignore them. most of them are stupid and drunk off high fructose corn syrup anyway...and i honestly believe that your heart is in the right place and you're trying to make at least a little improvement in your term

but you asked for this, so you need to get on your fucking job so i can have some good stories to tell my nonexistent future kids about how you kicked ass and said fuck your name instead of just being black and a president.


p.s. michelle? you're perfect. don't change a thing.

in re-reading this...i curse too much.
i save my eloquent and extensive vocabulary for school and white people.
but this is how i talk in my head...and this is how my letter is written.

lyrics to go VII

i don't have any friends at all
cuz i have nothing in common with ya'll
so who's gonna catch me if i fall
my back's always against the wall
i don't have anything to say
i want everything to go my way
shut up mom! It is not okay
i'm alone almost every day

but it's cool
it could be better
i don't care
whatever

blah...this is how i fucking feel right now.
i fulfill my school and work obligations and go home and get under a blanket.
being a hermit is great.
being a hermit sucks.
argharghargh.

seriously random babbling

1. the problem with blogging. i like blogging my thoughts and what not...but then when i'm made aware that people actually read what i say i tend to retreat from saying anything because i feel like i sound stupid and don't publish anything. most of time when i blog it's very tongue-in-cheek/sarcastic and sometimes i don't feel that comes across well without the assistance of voice and someone reading might think i'm either kinda stupid or a super asshole. i am an asshole...but a nice one.
i don't seem to update as often because i'll start writing something and just save the draft, and in my silly head i blogged something. working on it...so here's me basically sounding stupid at 4 am.

dos.
i honestly wish i had majored in photojournalism. that way i could have access to amazing ass cameras and accessories and classes. i randomly get concepts for photo-essays but have no way to actually bring them into fruition.

4. i'm trying really hard to go back to pesco-vegetarianism. modern meat is just really gross when you actually know what exactly they do to it. i was just ignoring it. but 'it tastes good' sounds silly when you're eating that genetic freak artificially inseminated turkey sandwich or diseased corn-fed beef. if food was reared the natural way i'd be saying 'where's the beef?' but now...nah son

trois.
movies kinda suck lately...like aren't directors tired of making/actors tired of acting in different incarnations of the same damn story? i.e. the blind side, any black "first" movie, any buddy cop movie that has the black guy acting a fool and the stuffy white guy *looking at you bruce willis, tracey morgan is certifiably crazy but really bruce?* and coughavatarcough

b.
i really dislike valentine's day. people are like *oh it's a day to love yourself, it doesn't have to be romantic love, it's a celebration of all love* ...those people are dirty liars. being single is not that bad until you're reminded of it by people and their stupid ass love. yeah it's a commercialized holiday but so is christmas and you don't see everybody and their bitter ass cousin ray-ray hating on it. everybody deep down, no matter how much they lie, would not mind someone making them feel extra-special on a pre-designated day so that they can look forward to it. it doesn't have to include stupid ass teddy bears and cards, but something planned that makes you feel all fuzzy and sappy

c.
facebook ruins crushes. you meet someone cute, add them on facebook. read their interests and realize they have horrible taste in everything. crush over. like seriously, if you openly admit that 'i don't read'...stop breathing.

insert number.
i'm sick and tired of being sick and tired of hearing about black women and their black man shortage. honestly i don't really care. i wasn't really banking on ending up with a black dude being a colleged educated black woman where we outnumber black men enough, heaven forbid if i go to grad school. what pisses me off is all these "black relationship gurus" seem to act like us negresses are asking for too much for wanting to be with someone in the same intellectual sphere that we're in.

black dudes don't seem to like me much anyway.
-i don't like dudes that cite lil wayne as their favorite rapper
-i dislike the use of the phrase 'grown & sexy' which seems to be the name of the gatherings where all these "desirable" black men congregate
-i have low tolerance for misogyny and shenanigans
-i've been told that i have a dominant personality? i don't believe it but whatevs
-i'm a little strange
-and on top of that i have natural hair (argue your personal anecdotal evidence if you like, but in my personal anecdotal evidence most black dudes (like >50% but <90%) prefer girls with straight hair or actively dislike natural hair unless it's the loosely curled "mixed girl hair" *of course that's in quotes because plenty of directly mixed girls have super kinky hair while some black girls don't*)

that eliminates like...80% of black dudes and probably the majority of dudes of other races too.
this is why i'm getting a dog.
i'm being hyperbolic...slightly


why am i single? why don't guys seem to like me? i'm no beyonce (HA) but i damn sure ain't the ugliest thing for a 10 mile radius. i'm cute! i'm smart! i'm funny! i'm witty! i read books! i can cook! i have big boobs! i'm not clingy! i use exclamation points in an exagerrated fashion! banana!

and that ladies & gents, is the making of my eharmony profile.
ha.


and now i shall pretend to sleep before class @ 10 am knowing that i have accomplished at least one thing today. next time will be much less scattered.

i hate februarys

Fevrale dostat chernil i plakat,
Pisat O Fevrale navsnryd,
Poka grohochushaya slyakot
Vesnoyu charnoyu gorit.

[February. get ink, shed tears.
write of it, sob your heart out, sing.
while torrential slush that roars,
burns in the blackness of the spring.]

februarys suck.
-it's usually the coldest and darkest month of the year.
-valentine's day. *being perpetually single is fine until you get smacked upside the head with happy couples*
-and i have to hear about martin luther the king and all of the same black people we have been taught about since 2nd grade while not teaching children comprehensive black history or having a real conversation about race and why black history month is necessary. is it? who knows? i'm sleepy.


i haven't abandoned this blog yet. promise i'll update sooner than later.