Saturday, May 30, 2009

to whomever it may concern that is looking intently at my head.

#1 [and most importantly] NO YOU CAN'T TOUCH MY HAIR.

*seriously, why does everyone (regardless of the extent of their relationship with me) want to touch my hair? one of my friends (white guy) got upset with me for not letting him touch it. he wanted to because he had never seen hair like mine apparently. i kinda got pissed at him because he said something to the effect of black women won't let people touch their hair but they can touch his. i kindly informed him that that had nothing to do with me since i'm not a proxy for all black women and i'm not all that interested in touching his hair.

i didn't like people touching my hair when it was straight. i don't let my mom touch my hair. if i let you touch my hair: you probably snuck it in without me noticing and i don't want to be a complete bitch, we are good friends, or you have a very good chance of having sex with me*

#2 i am not a lesbian.

#3 i don't write poetry, neo-soul is not my favorite genre of music, and i don't burn incense (i prefer blogs, hip-hop and alternative music, and bourgie ass candles)

#4 [to black people] please stop trying to grade my hair.

apparently my hair has been deemed just barely good by the negro hair council. not nappy per se but not mixed girl curly/straight. it's a c- on the grading scale of goodness. it's just barely acceptable but it needs some tutoring (straightening) for a good grade.

please stop. it's hair.

#5 i'm not a vegetarian/vegan/environmentalist

#6 [to black women]i don't care what you do to your hair. i don't care to convert you to the side of nappyness

#7 while it is sweet, calling me sister/queen/whatever gets annoying. brittney/pb is just fine.

#8 i guess it's nice that you're curious and whatever, but if i hear 'how did you get your hair like that?' one more time... it just what it does!

did i forget anything?

*on the plus side, my mom said my hair was 'kinda cute' the other day which is a big step up from her grimacing and saying 'i have to get used to it'*

Monday, May 25, 2009



i don't understand.
i've tried
i can't fit my thoughts in 140 characters.

you can't have discussions. there is no room for nuance or interpretation in 140 characters.

and really, when i'm away from a computer, i'm away from the computer. this is why i never got facebook or im mobile. if i wanted to know i'd get on a computer. also if i wanted to know what you were doing at this very instant...i'd ask you.

i guess i understand twitter if you want to stalk your favorite celebs and whatnot. but regular people? i really don't care that you're on your way to bojangles.

maybe it's because twitter isn't for ramblers like me. it's a bunch of facebook statuses/away messages and then talking about them in short sentences. what is the point of that?


Thursday, May 21, 2009


it's gone.

all gone.

i just picked up the scissors and went to town after asking myself why i was holding on to hair that i was just going to cut later anyway.

nikolai is having technical difficulties so the pictures will be a week or so.

that and i don't have a computer at home because my mom said i can't use the home computer because i refused to show her my facebook page. ridiculous? i think so.

whatevs. i'm buying a replacement laptop tomorrow

can't hold me down!

Monday, May 18, 2009


so i was talking to one of my friends about guys and blahblahblah. and how it doesn't really matter if he isn't gorgeous if he's a cool ass person.

then i said. "you will never in never neverland hear two men having this conversation. ever."
you will never hear a man say i mean she wasn't that cute, but she was so funny and cool to talk to that i went out with her anyway and she grew on me. i don't really think that men stick around long enough for a woman to grow on them.

and why is that?

i remember one time this stupid couple had a facebook debacle. the girl found out he had been cheating on her through the girl he was cheating with and posted every aim conversation that he had with the other girl on facebook. now the girlfriend wasn't the prettiest girl around, but she damn sure didn't deserve that kind of treatment [even though she was so immature to put him on blast online] the other girl was pretty and the boyfriend actually said in his convos with the other girl that his girlfriend wasn't pretty enough for him and his status and he needed a better looking girl. even though he claimed to be in love and all that bullshit, he was still looking around for a better looking girl, just because.
clearly he was an asshole, but he's not unique.

[most] girls know that looks fade, why don't guys?

several people have told me that i shouldn't cut my hair off because i won't be pretty. i beg to fucking differ. i may not be the most gorgeous around, but i know somebody will like my black ass short-haired or not. and i'll probably like the guys who can appreciate my hair better than the guys who thought i was cute just because i had long hair.

[random aside: one time this stranger thought it would be ok to run his fingers through my hair. just walked up behind me and did it. i had to restrain myself that day.]

actually this whole post has been a random aside.
i should take the time to plan these things out than just hopping on a computer on my lunch break...

Saturday, May 16, 2009

oh honey.

so i've been trying to fix my skin while saving money. so i decided to use up whatever i already had.

my skin is clearing up and it's taking on this nice little glow.
i've done basically the same thing i always did but added something else.

basically i just slather honey on my face every night and leave it on from 30 min to whenever i feel like washing it off.

apparently honey kills bacteria and reduces inflammation and redness.

really cheap and completely natural.
after i wash it off i put my usual benzoyl peroxide cream on it and moisturize with oyinhandmade's whipped pudding [i will never stop singing the praises of this brand. how great is a product that can successfully moisturize your skin AND hair?]

Thursday, May 14, 2009

black racism

so in my sociology class my white lady teacher told me that non-white people can't be "racist" because they don't wield considerable power over society. and that whites are racist because the system that was created forever benefits them to the detriment of all the other melanin-enriched people of the world. i guess if you go by that system that's true.

but i think my mom is a racist.

and i feel like a hypocrite because i just find it funny. like if you heard a middle aged white woman say that 'black people are so nasty and they never wash their hands' you'd be offended. but my mom just thinks that whites are the nastiest people ever. she grew up in the country of nc and went to de facto segregated schools and an hbcu. she's friendly to white people but she doesn't really trust them and she finds them extremely unattractive. i don't think she'd ever get close enough to a white person to call them her friend. the way i was raised i thought that black people were better than everyone else. i know this isn't good or right, but i guess it's better than growing up thinking i was inferior.

i just thought of this because a few weeks ago my mom came into my job and was talking to me and my friend. she retold a time when i was in middle school and i had a sleepover and all of my friends who came over were white. [i was the outcast black girl, none of the black girls liked me and the white girls were cooler anyway]
she was just so confused and hoping that a black girl would come through the door but she didn't come. she was relieved when i got to high school and got a black best friend [the de facto diverging of races in high school is another blog entirely]

to make a long blog longer, this whole talk about race was brought on by her seeing my [black] friend with her [white] boyfriend. now my mom is not really a fan of interracial relationships at all. but she said "the lord had to deliver me from that because i know you're probably going to bring one of those white boys home"

i guess that's progress?

Friday, May 8, 2009

dear woman with a camera phone/webcam/whatever

if you take pictures of your naked ass.

your intended recipient will never be the only one that sees it.
never ever.

it may just be shown to his best friend/his boys.
it may be shown to the world.

hell when i was in high school we had both a sex tape of some girl and naked pictures of another. both of which were for "private" purposes.

it never happens.

stop playing.

Thursday, May 7, 2009


i thought i was going to do ok this semester.
i ended up getting a b- in a class.

then my teacher decided to lower my participation grade because she realized i had a 4th absence.

making it a c+


Monday, May 4, 2009

help me please!

if you're reading this please give me some suggestions.

so one of my main things i really feel necessary before i cut my hair is to clear my skin up since the focus will definitely be on my face.
but my face didn't seem to get that memo.

it's not necessarily the acne as it is some acne scars on my face which seem to be in it for the long haul. no matter whether i wash my face twice a day and use the leave-on gel stuff, it does not seem to fade.

and when that time comes around i tend to get the same pimples in the same place where the marks are. so when the go back down the marks seem reinvigorated or something.

plus i have dry skin, so using these products tends to make it worse.
i've currently been using ddf products [it was a gift obvi, i'm cheap!], but companies tend to assume that if you break out you must have oily ass skin, which i don't

help me please!