Saturday, May 30, 2009

to whomever it may concern that is looking intently at my head.

#1 [and most importantly] NO YOU CAN'T TOUCH MY HAIR.

*seriously, why does everyone (regardless of the extent of their relationship with me) want to touch my hair? one of my friends (white guy) got upset with me for not letting him touch it. he wanted to because he had never seen hair like mine apparently. i kinda got pissed at him because he said something to the effect of black women won't let people touch their hair but they can touch his. i kindly informed him that that had nothing to do with me since i'm not a proxy for all black women and i'm not all that interested in touching his hair.

i didn't like people touching my hair when it was straight. i don't let my mom touch my hair. if i let you touch my hair: you probably snuck it in without me noticing and i don't want to be a complete bitch, we are good friends, or you have a very good chance of having sex with me*

#2 i am not a lesbian.

#3 i don't write poetry, neo-soul is not my favorite genre of music, and i don't burn incense (i prefer blogs, hip-hop and alternative music, and bourgie ass candles)

#4 [to black people] please stop trying to grade my hair.

apparently my hair has been deemed just barely good by the negro hair council. not nappy per se but not mixed girl curly/straight. it's a c- on the grading scale of goodness. it's just barely acceptable but it needs some tutoring (straightening) for a good grade.

please stop. it's hair.

#5 i'm not a vegetarian/vegan/environmentalist

#6 [to black women]i don't care what you do to your hair. i don't care to convert you to the side of nappyness

#7 while it is sweet, calling me sister/queen/whatever gets annoying. brittney/pb is just fine.

#8 i guess it's nice that you're curious and whatever, but if i hear 'how did you get your hair like that?' one more time... it just what it does!


did i forget anything?


*on the plus side, my mom said my hair was 'kinda cute' the other day which is a big step up from her grimacing and saying 'i have to get used to it'*

5 comments:

Cecelia said...

lmao@ "i am not a lesbian" and your favorite genre isnt neosoul.

femi. said...

peace queen

lol

girrrrl, if you think you get mistaken for being a lesbian, please spare a thought for me rocking this cut!

my hair is naturally wavy and i've heard that 'good hair' comment many times. but um...good for what?

cos when i tried to grow one of those sexy fro things my hair refused to co-operate and i ended up looking like a jacked up mrs potato head with the wrong attachments. wasn't so 'good' then...

anywhens: i relate to all of the above [although i do write poetry].

rah!

Choir Boy said...

Yo, pb, fuck any and everything. Just be happy with your kinkin'. I'm curious to see what bourgie candles look like.

Twodecadesofwondering said...

Amen to #2, #6, and #7!

The Notorious Z.A.G. said...

Fuck yea; my sentiments EXACTLY. But I do write poetry though. And I like me some neo-soul.
But I wear weaves too. People just need to mind their own damn business basically. Hair has nothing to do with personality. I hate when people try to put you in some box just because your hair looks a certain way... a mess