Wednesday, December 31, 2008


i hate new years resolutions.
they're stupid and pointless and most people forsake them by february.

but i'm not making a resolution.
i'm making a decree.

from this point forward. not just this coming year.

i'm going to prove myself right.

Sunday, December 28, 2008

darkie toothpaste

it literally says black man toothpaste in what i'm assuming is chinese
best. souvenir. ever.
thanks derek!

Friday, December 26, 2008


am i the only person who has no idea what to do when they get home?
i'm used to either being at school or working or at least having something planned to do with friends.

i don't really watch t.v., at least when the sun is still up
i'll start watching a show and just sort of wander out of the room.
i've caught up on my blog reading and watched all my latest youtube subscriptions.
surfed facebook and flickr.
strongly avoiding the urge to spend money on clothes
i watched slumdog millionaire [awesome] and wall-e [a little too cute]
my mom keeps walking over and looking at me every 20 minutes.

i'm off to waste gas.

Wednesday, December 24, 2008

they still make you?!?!

i went out to dinner with one of my old friends and she brought her boyfriend along whom i had never met before.
so we were making catch-up conversation and i asked her how they got together.

basically in the beginning they met though a mutual friend [at prayer service, no less]
and one day he showed up at her apt. asking to use her phone charger and they hung out every day after that however with no official title [only hugging and holding hands, my friend is very religious]

he then said that because he they hadn't defined their relationship, they should step back to being just friends until they had decided they were on the same page, to my friend's chagrin of course since she thought they were in the midst of forming a relationship. he then suggests that they both read this book about the 10 steps of courtship [or some shit, idk] that he bought for the both of them.

on valentine's day, this guy goes and sets up a romantic evening with the stereotypical candlelit dinner, rose petals on the table and around it with a single rose on the table, while wearing a white suit. and then officially asks her to be his girlfriend.

let me repeat that.
he does all of this.
to ask her to be his girlfriend.
he did all of this for a girl that he was not dating. had not fucked. had not even kissed.

in my mind i was thinking...


this happens in real life and not in a lifetime or disney movie?

isn't this the age of - you meet somebody and you kinda hang out for a month or so and then you might make out or fuck. and then you kinda look at each other and shrug and just kinda guess you're in a relationship now or one of you just decides it by declaring you're in a relationship on facebook and the other one thinks 'hmmm i guess we are in a relationship now huh' and accepts. occasionally you'll just have one of you refer to the other in a possesive way, and you kinda just roll with it. those what are we talks are unnecessarily awkward.

all i could hear was chris rock in my head when he was talking about women who don't give head
"they still make you?!?!?!"

it didn't raise any stupid disney-like hopes that i would find someone like that because i'm not a particularly mushy romantical person. and they're extra christian while i am...not. i couldn't deal with a really religious man. but dudes don't even really try nowadays, [in the non-hollahollaholla situations i.e. meeting at a party] mostly girls kind of give guys REALLY big hints and if they're too thick-headed to notice the girl will go right out with it...and i'm too retarded for all that.

still working on that house full of dogs.

p.s. i loathe holidays. another reason why i can't have kids. they would be so depressed around this time. there would be no decorations or yuletide or even church christmas plays. they might get an unwrapped present or at best one wrapped in newspaper. and they'd have no delusions that an old fat white man gave it to them. fuck that. i bought it, they're going to know mommy worked her ass off to buy them a shitty toy made in china that they won't care about next month.

Tuesday, December 23, 2008

it's a little dragon kind of day.

nothing to do but drive around and stimulate the economy with my mental jukebox on this album makes me content.

Monday, December 22, 2008


only because i'm bored and i love these photos

in other news.
breaks suck.
i'm never sure what exactly to do with myself.

Thursday, December 18, 2008

how cute.

there's this new temporary girl that is working at my job who happens to be of the caucasian persuasion.

this, by itself, is nothing new at all [except that she doesn't go to unc]

but i think she may be the most sheltered person i have ever met in my life.
most of the people that are working at my job over christmas break happen to be of a non-white persuasion.

and it's so cute how she is so fascinated with brown people.

she saw a black girl come in with a natural and she just stared at her hair. and then she was like ohmygoodness her hair is so cool. we also started talking about hair and haircuts. [it was unrelated to that black girl's hair] and she interjected how much she liked my hair [i'm doing this no heat thing so my hair was down in some sort of frizzy/straight hybrid]
i kinda brushed it off and didn't think anything of it.

but then a group with white/south asian/east asian guys came in. and after they left she said, "wow, this school is so diverse!" [in a cute cheery way]
so i was like you don't have indians at your school?
well the school that she goes to [unc-pembroke] is known for having a lot of native american students since a lot of them live in that area. but for the most part that's the main minority that she is accustomed to interacting with. but no she had never seen a south asian person at her school. and she was so excited when she met one of my coworkers who is part native american, guess because it was something that she was used to.

another incident where some hispanic people came in and they were speaking in spanish to one another, and the girl [as i'm told since i wasn't there] just stared at them. and then said, "ohmygosh are you speaking spanish?!?" one of my coworkers is puerto rican and he was working with her [we kind of rotate so we don't get too bored] and one of the adult staff members also happens to be puerto rican. so she proceeded to ask them a shitload of dumb questions about puerto rico such as whether they have mcdonald's and wal-marts and other things of that nature.

now all that is said to say this.
why do people like her still exist?
maybe i take for granted that i grew up in a relatively diverse environment in which people of other races were not all that fascinating.
some of my coworkers were kinda perturbed with her ignorance, but i found it kind of a 5 year old really. i'd rather her be fascinated and think different races are amazing than the alternative.

Tuesday, December 16, 2008

tonight i'm cleaning out my [camera]

[^^click if you care to read the large version]

i'm content since i didn't do as shitty as i thought in my classes.
i was one class short of my no-c's goal though.
it was a c+ too

apparently this is my 100th post.

Friday, December 12, 2008


yet another mediocre semester out of the way.

i'm no dumb student...i realize that i'm lazy and that's not fucking cute.
i'll be doing ok in a class with like a b or even an a and then i usually manage to do something retarded like stop going to class or not getting easy credit points which results in my grades dropping so that i look like a mediocre dumbass.

i've always been the lazy quasi-smart kid [i hate referring to myself as smart]

so i'm really working on getting my shit together before i have to go out in the real world.

so i will enjoy my winter break and while i'm reading my newly purchased autobiography of miles davis, i'll be looking for research work so i can at least look like a marketable potential employee.


Thursday, December 11, 2008

i'm not a photographer

but i love taking photos.
i'm too poor [to afford all the proper accoutrement] and unskilled to be an actual photographer, lol. one b+w class does not a photographer make.
i hate that everyone thinks they're a model/photographer/rapper/singer/fashion designer/poet/blahblahblah nowadays. too many wannabe artists, not enough people to simply appreciate it.

i'm a proud appreciator.

i would love to date a photographer though.
or any kind of artist for that matter [except rappers. no rappers. it's become a bit cliche that every other black guy i meet is a fucking rapper]
i love artistic people.
i think i like to glom onto their talent and live vicariously through them since my only real talent is being a philosophical genius [i kid]

i admire the fact that some people can take nothing and create gold.
but photographers can take the mundane everyday things that we walk by and make them breathtakingly gorgeous. it takes someone who looks at the world through a special lens [and not the camera one] to amplify those things. i want to dig into the mind of a person like that.

what was the point of this post?
idk...i just ramble on this bitch when i'm bored and in front of a computer...
i should be studying for my 2 exams tomorrow.

the internet is so distracting.
yay for the 10.deep x dj benzi mixtape and boondocksbootleg youtube channel for providing me with reasons to stare at the computer and play solitaire rather than studying.

hmmm...i want to go to the thrift store.

Tuesday, December 9, 2008

okley by m.i.a.

i love you as much as the next quasi-blipster maya.
but $75 for a t-shirt?
diapers ain't that expensive.

Monday, December 8, 2008

if i were a boy...

i'd be a fucking manwhore.

this was all started by this weird dream that i had that i was a hermaphrodite...with a really huge dick [if you know what that dream means in some metaphoric way...let me know]


my friend and i were discussing that if we were men, we'd probably be whores. like have a revolving door of women...a stable if you will.

and only because women let men do shit like that.
i know numerous women who KNOW the dude they're with is fucking other women. and they don't say shit.

and i know several women who KNOW a dude is in a relationship and don't give a fuck.

i'm not saying it's all the women's fault. men aren't mindless animals who don't know right from wrong. but you can only say no so many times.

there is no hope.
i'm gonna get started on my houseful of dogs.

Saturday, December 6, 2008

evening gatha.

Let me respectfully remind you,
Life and death are of supreme importance.
Time passes by swiftly and opportunity is lost.
Each of us should strive to awaken.

Take heed, do not squander your life.

Thursday, December 4, 2008


i need some new boondocks in my life.

Monday, December 1, 2008


so according to the time magazine i was reading yesterday...52% of black women are obese. compared to 31% of everybody else [black men, white men and women] nevermind the fact that americans apparently are fat as fuck.


are you fucking kidding me?!

i have now made it my personal goal in life not to become one of that 52%
i'm not fat but i should really watch myself before i creep up to that 52%
i've always said i don't want to be one of those stereotypical fat black bitches [anybody who knows me, knows i'm a profane person, i should stop calling people bitches and cunts]

well i ate my last fast food meal for a while yesterday.

i shall miss my fat laden coffee drinks the most...

50 fucking 2 percent

we need to do better.

Saturday, November 29, 2008

she's just miss popular hybrid

lazing around listening to mingus plays piano and below the heavens
good evening indeed.

thanksgiving is wack.
but i really don't want school to start.
i guess i should be studying or something

Wednesday, November 26, 2008


today was so fucking mundane.

yet it was one of the best days i had in a while.

went to work.
other people bought for me or gave me everything i imbibed [apple juice, iced coffee, fruit, gummies]
my friend who i haven't seen in a while came and bothered me at work.
the six hours surprisingly flew by
i found $10 on the floor of the library
saw another friend i haven't seen in a while
went to tar-jay a.k.a the best store in the world
moms cooked me some catfish which i have been fiending for

the only snag...i lost my old white women for obama pin

can't win 'em all i guess...

Monday, November 24, 2008


fuck it.

little dragon/lykke li/kissey asplund + solitaire = procrastination station.
i obviously need to move to sweden.

Tuesday, November 18, 2008


this live version is so fucking awesome.
i've been in such a gnarls mood lately.
especially the more wicked joints.
none of their stuff is really happy though...
what does that mean...

in other musical news. kanye's album made me angry like i thought it would.
i only like basically one song on it which is the joint with lil wayne, surprisingly.
but luckily, he decided to also release a remix album with benzi.
i guess i can't quit you yet kanye.
now i have new music to mosh around my room to @ 3 am.

Sunday, November 16, 2008


am i the only person that will just be sitting around
and then start reading/watching the news
and just say

gotdamn i love barack.
i'm not one of those people who thinks he's black jesus or is going to be the greatest president ever
but gotdamnit he is just so awesome.
i mean did anyone ever think that we'd have a president that loved the fugees AND the wire?
i know i didn't.

how about one that is fit enough to play basketball on a regular basis?

nope. i figured during my life all my presidents would be old boring white men.

i was watching an interview not too long ago with barack and michelle
and they make me so happy
you hardly ever see functional black couples who are in love with each other and not all stuffy and bland on tv AND are good parents at the same time

they exist, you just don't see them in the public eye

that's why black people are so happy about the obamas. we have a positive image of us that the whole world can see...rather than flavor flav, omarosa, or whatever ridiculous stereotypical black image you can think of.

now as much as i love this dude.
i would really like to stop seeing him on all the magazines.
dude was on men's health. men's health? why?
i completely understand why everyone loves this man.

but stop with the complete mindless worship. we still need to watch what he does and question when he merits it. he's still first and foremost a politician.

a fucking awesome one.
but a politician nonetheless.
i can excessively love him because it's not my job to be objective and inform people.

Friday, November 14, 2008


i miss having my car.
i want it just so i can drive through the suburbs and blast shit like this

like a n-word.
i have many surpressed n-word moments
merry friday.

Thursday, November 13, 2008

you can't win

mentioning the wiz yesterday made me think of this song

before mike went all cuckoo for cocoa puffs.
you can't say this song is not pure fire.
i still love it.
i saw this dvd in a bargain bin about two years ago and made a friend buy it for me.

this movie shits all over the wizard of oz.
since the video for 'ease on down the road' won't embed correctly i'll just post a link here
i definitely want to drunkenly dance down the street like that one day.

i obviously mostly post in this blog purely for my own entertainment lol.

Wednesday, November 12, 2008

chitty chitty bang bang

anybody who knows me knows i fucking love this movie.

one of my many eccentricities i guess.

i was one of those kids who went to the library once a week and i was allowed to check out books and only one movie [oh vhs]. it was usually either chitty, mary poppins [i love dick van dyke btw, if i were born in the 50's he would have been my zac efron], the wiz [this deserves a post in itself], or that version of peter pan with the woman playing peter.

so i was at work and started singing the song 'toot sweets' to myself and when i got to my room went to youtubing and i found these videos... i fucking love youtube btw.

here's toot sweets

and few of the other vids that made my day

and of course the theme song

this dvd is the first thing on my christmas list.

if i don't buy it myself before then.

i'm aware that this movie is corny.
but i love it.
we all need a little innocent corniness in our lives every once in a while.

for 30 minutes i felt like i was 6 again twirling around my room like an idiot to all of the songs.

sigh...back to being a cynical adult.

Sunday, November 9, 2008

but why?

so i saw zach & miri make a porno this weekend.
it's a pretty decent movie. it got a few laughs. nothing that i'd buy on dvd.

but one part of the movie really bothered me.
now the black guy in the movie, delaney, was seth rogen's co-worker and he was a little awkward but he was multifaceted and was funny, i.e. not just one big stereotype

and then around the end of the movie we are brought to his house.
and his wife was the loud ghetto, neck rolling, don't know how to act, black woman played by tisha campbell.


the second him and seth's character, zach, walked in the door her ass is yelling just for no reason.
and then she asks zach if he would fuck her and does this thing that i guess was supposed to be sexy but wasn't.

who does that?
why are black women always portrayed as just crazy and attitudinal in movies?

then she was wearing these fake saggy ass boobs since tisha campbell is naturally flat chested. why?

i literally let out a big ass sigh and said why?! right in the movie theatre. anybody that has seen that movie could see that her attitude was just out of place and not even necessary.
that almost ruined the whole movie for me.

i'd see if this was just an occasional thing but you ALWAYS see these tired scene of this loud "ignant" black woman with usually a normal functional black husband.
does that even make sense?

her voice immediately made me think of 'the incredibles' when the black superhero dude [i don't remember his name] was looking for something and his wife [who's face we never saw] was constantly yelling something and from her voice you could just picture some black woman simultaneously wagging her finger, and rolling her neck, and basically having a seizure.

tichina arnold's character in 'everybody hates chris' gets on my nerves too.

i'm not saying that these women don't exist. but they are definitely not the majority.
can we get some balance in our portrayal please?

i guess i'm being seeeeeensitive.
fuck that.

Saturday, November 8, 2008

Thursday, November 6, 2008

dear travie.

[two times for niky and how good these pics actually came out, i was in the 10th row with no flash allowed]

you know i love you right?
i didn't even like dudes with neck tattoos and here you came and spawned my fetish for men covered in tattoos [that aren't lil wayne]
you and that adorable goofiness.
i even love you despite you dating that wack ass 'i kissed a girl' girl.
i mean really?

but that's neither here nor there.
you can't help who you fall in love with i guess.

i fell in love with you for the papercut chronicles.

but you go and drop the overproduced yawn that is 'the quilt.'
i TRIED so hard to like it because i love you.
i can't.
and i'm only blaming you because the focus is on you and not the band.
however performing 'when doves cry' at your concert and the fact that you supported obama has absolved you of everything

but please do better my love.

perhaps next time we can have an album focusing on disashi and his awesomeness.

dear de jesus.


Wednesday, November 5, 2008


you know.
what if obama was the antichrist.

now i don't even believe in the whole christian idea of the antichrist with the big scary evil in a man's body leading the world into chaos and destruction. i think it's more of a symbolic reference to the anti-christ like sentiment in ourselves that we must fight against.

but anywho.
humoring the christian idea of antichrist.
and all of those backwards assholes who were speculating that obama was somehow the antichrist because of some shit they read in a fictional book.

wouldn't that be the BIGGEST bitch ever?
like. i would be like...really God?
you see what us black people have to deal with and they already assume the worst of us.
and then you go and make one of us the antichrist. really?
i couldn't even be cool with God no more.

i mean if i was given the opportunity to go to heaven i would accept given the alternative. but i wouldn't even want to have to worship that old racist ass God. i'd just be sitting in the corner mad as hell for all eternity.

lmao, i'm just being stupid.
now back to celebrating.


i don't even have anything to say.
here's a nice little discussion i had however.

white girl i went to high school with's status:
B is irritated. HE'S NOT BLACK. He's just as white as he is black. C'mon people.

some other white girl: OMG I know!!! And his white mother raised him, it annoys me too girl!

high school acquantance: If I married a black man and had kids with him, I'd be pissed as hell if they claimed they were black. I think it's shitty that that's the only reason some ppl voted for him....To "be a part of history". Have a better reason than that.

owg: I know right.... I said the same thing in my blog... just like some ppl are voting for McCain because Palin is a woman... that's just as dumb.

hsa: that's true. I didn't even think about that. I'm watching CBS right now and they said that Obama had 97% of black votes, but yet it's not about race?? right....
I hate that they're making a big deal about it on TV too. it's BS

my friend: hah yeah completely agree on that issue..

my black ass: although he is biracial he self-identifies as black and refers to himself as black.

but that shouldn't have anything to do with anything.
but assuming that most black people voted for him because he was black when most black people are democrats in the first place is slightly patronizing. if that were the case the vote would have been split between him and independent cynthia mckinney.


I understand that BUT 97% of black ppl in NC voted for him. In the past it has been like 60 something voting democrat. You can't tell me that almost every single black person in NC did not vote for him based on his color. Call if patronizing if you'd like, but it seems pretty damn obvious to me. and. if I were biracial that is how i would identify myself....biracial. His WHITE mother raised him, so why doesn't he self identify with whites. Hmmm. something to think about.

my friend: Obvious. But at the same time, how many white woman voted because they want Palin in office? Just goes to show you that color isn't indicative of anything, especially intelligence...

my black ass: you're right that just as many blacks voted for obama because he's blacks as whites voted for mccain because he's white. the majority of black people i've talked to weighed the issues before they blindly voted since the majority of them were HILARY supporters in the beginning of the primary.
i'm assuming he identifies black it's because he's treated like a black person. the majority of biracial [black/white] people identify with blacks because that is how they are treated in society regardless of who they were raised by.
nobody goes...oh he's biracial i'm not going to discriminate against him.
i don't know why he doesn't identify with whites because last time i checked i wasn't president-elect barack obama. why don't we work to create a society where a person isn't forced to choose because of how society treats them?

I personally do not believe that society treats blacks any different than whites. I think that's a thing of the past that some ppl can't get over and I personally think it's an excuse.

my black ass:
really? you should ask your non-white friends [assuming she has any] how they feel about that. i'm not saying that you can't work hard and achieve in society. non-whites simply have a few more roadblocks than whites do. if you don't believe that then you, with all due respect, are denying reality.

my [white] friend: From dating a person of african american and puerto rican descent...hearing what goes on with him and then dealing with the opinions about it from a typical southern white family...yeah, I can tell you Brittney is right. I mean there is still a LOT of prejudice out there. Race still "matters," even though it shouldn't.

woot there it is.

we got work to do people.

in addendum:

hsa: i have to work just as hard. I honestly have NEVER seen a black person denied anything. Lets use A for an example. I did not recieve ONE scholarship but yet she had 2 free rides...I have had to WORK for my education and to pay for it, but yet she had multiple opportunities. No hard feelings or anything towards her, I'm just using an example about working hard and achieving in society. HOWEVER If I were sensitive and felt I had to work harder to get somewhere in life, I would have taken that personally. I think it's all about your outlook in life. We all have to work for what we want.

my black ass: we all have to work to get what we want but some have to work harder than others. like i said, why don't you ask your non-white friends. unless you're assuming they're all too sensitive to perceive their world rationally

A worked for her shit. just like you did. she just happened to get a scholarship. last time i checked she was the valedictorian, meaning she had a higher gpa than you, meaning she deserved a free ride based on academics more than you. but guess what. A is quite the special case since most people, white and black, don't receive free rides unless they are poor [like at unc] or they have the best grades [which A did] but she didn't get a handout because she was black. that was a horrible example.

but a black person never denied anything?
what america are you living in?
like i said...ask a non-white friend

*how do i get through to these kiiiiiiiids* [cartman voice]
i predict more conversations like this for the next 4 years.


this is why she is my friend!!!!: It's not just about opportunity, it's also about respect/equality in general. I know my boyfriend has been extremely polite asking retail workers something as simple as a location of a product, been looked at dead in the eyes, and ignored/walked away from with complete disregard. I've recently showed someone an old news story that involved someone who happened to be black, and got the response "not to sound racist, but that's typical." Typical? It's things like that that have people bleaching their skin to look lighter. Society treating other races different isn't a thing of the past, and sad to say it probably won't be for a long time. As long as people don't act like they deserve respect, they're not going to get it. And as long as people don't get respect, they're not going to give it. It's a circle that isn't easily broken.

Tuesday, November 4, 2008

and now we wait.

i was browsing through my old facebook posted items and i saw when i first heard obama was running for president and i was indifferent like shit.

then i saw when i was almost convinced that he was going to lose the primaries to hilary who i had no problem with winning.

then around about march he got me.
that biracial dude with big ears and a funny name got to me.

now i'm riding SO hard for him.
i have a feeling i'm going to tear up a little whether he wins or loses.

yes, [among a shitload of other reasons] it's because he's black.
[people that have a problem with me being happy that he's black. fuck you verrrry much. he *and his family* has singlehandedly shown america that all black people aren't broke, hood stereotypes...but that's another blog]
plus...i want to live.

i haven't prayed in a LONG time.
but i'm praying that barack hussein obama II wins.

Monday, November 3, 2008

i like porno!

watch the freaking video.

5 More Friends

i don't want to talk about it anymore.

Saturday, November 1, 2008

i like the sunrise

...cause it brings a new day.

on halloween i sat in my room writing a paper and listening to amel larrieux's lovely standards.
her voice just makes me feel all peaceful and such.
i think i have seasonal affective disorder.

i need someone to bring me some spring.

Wednesday, October 29, 2008

Tuesday, October 28, 2008

fuck abraham lincoln

i soooooooo hate when people bring up abraham lincoln like he is some sort of savior and lover of black people.

yes he freed the slaves.
kind of.
he freed all slaves within the union.
the south was NOT in the union at the time of the emancipation proclamation. [if i'm wrong please correct me]

he stated himself many times that he thought that blacks were inferior to whites and that they did not deserve equal rights.
he only freed slaves to preserve the union. if he could have preserved it without freeing slaves, he definitely would have done so.

this whole rant was brought on by this kinda old illustration i saw with mlk jr. and abe in heaven watching obama give his democratic acceptance speech. if abe saw barack obama running for president now, i'm almost certain he would be like "WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON HERE"

fuck him. people deify some people and neuter others. that's why most of the history that is taught in schools is bullshit.

incidentally, mlk jr. is a prime example of a historical figure that has been neutered. martin had more than a goddamn dream. he was not a nice peaceful man that everybody loved. if that were true THEY WOULDN'T HAVE KILLED HIM. it wasn't some fringe element, he was considered a threat to national security because he was telling blacks that they deserved to be treated like equals.

shitdamnmotherfucker. rant over.

Saturday, October 25, 2008 was a black man

this shit here.

so i read this story yesterday or the day before about this white girl who was a mccain volunteer in some bumfuck town and she claimed that she was robbed and attacked by a black man [isn't it always a black man?] who after seeing her mccain/palin sticker on the back of her car proceeded to beat her and carve a 'b' on her face.

now when i saw this...and i saw the picture of the girl. i called bullshit.
[you can google it if you want]
one, the girl's eye was just vaguely purple, if someone gives you a black eye, that shit is swollen
two, how does someone carve a PERFECT 'b' in your face?!?! even if somebody is holding me down...i would think that i would be squirming and moving if they are carving up my damn face.

and of course. i was right.

the bitch lied.

i'm done.
fuck it.
obama '08

Thursday, October 23, 2008

it's funny, right?

so i was looking on facebook at the 'people you may know' doohicky
and i saw this white girl who used to make me miserable in middle school.

she has a kid with another on the way with some 30 something year old dude that she's not married to.
and she's a stay at home mom who takes classes online.

i don't really have anything substantive to say about that.
just found it interesting.
DEFINITELY don't envy her.

life is weird.
when i was 12 years old i had no idea where i was going to be 10 years later.
i doubt she did either. probably didn't think she'd be a stay at home mom with 2 kids.
for some reason this gets me thinking about my future.
i don't even know where i'm going to be NEXT year.
let's not even think about 5 years from now.

i'm interested in seeing life's curveballs.
[you like how i look at someone else and start talking about myself?]

Wednesday, October 22, 2008

theeee apple juice kid.

i've been aware of his existence for almost a year now.
he's from the chapel hill urrea and shit.
great percussionist and producer.
but i didn't really really get into him.
and then i login to myspace yesterday [music is the only thing myspace is good for] and see that he goes and drops this shit.

[i'm assuming it's pretty obvious where you can find it...]

obviously it's instrumental remixes of miles davis stuff.
pretty decent listen.
made one of the songs my new ringtone.
my favorites are violingreen [a lovely take on blue in green, and subsequently the version with raheem devaughn and yahzarah or purple st. james or whatever the fuck she goes by these days] and snapmusic [the new ringtone]

in addendum:
blu + phonte = whaaaaaaaa?!?

Tuesday, October 21, 2008

dear kanye.

if you do one more song with a voice synthesizer thingamajig.

i will quit you.
i'm so serious.
stop that shit.
you're not that great.

and shave please.

on a side note...
808s and Heartbreak is a dope album name
and people will buy it just because you're kanye.
those are probably those people that wore those ugly ass impractical sunglasses just because you did.
i hate those people.

Sunday, October 19, 2008


those things.

i have none.
at least not all of them.

i am completely and utterly UN-empathetic
i am incapable of comforting people.

i'm incapable of being in relationships because it's very hard for me to attach to people.
this [and my shyness/awkwardness] is why it's really difficult for me to make friends. when i meet new people it's hard for me to get over that initial awkward stage. usually because i just don't care to make that small talk or relate or whatever, i kinda want to...but for some reason i just don't. i'm quite surprised i have the ones i have now.

it's slightly disturbing how easily i can cut someone out of my life and not miss that particular person, but i still feel that void at least. but i detach too easily for my liking.

i honestly have no idea what love is. i'm not even convinced that i truly love my family and friends.

on the flipside...i think i'm pretty fucking emo sometimes.
all that angsty shit. all that. but i think most of that emo shit is wondering why i'm so cold and distant and why i can't do better.

i guess that's why i like music so much.
they do my feeling for me.

i think i'm a robot.

*does the robot*

Saturday, October 18, 2008

remember this?

changed my life.
people still looking for another lauryn
she just dropped a classic and went batshit crazy.

Friday, October 17, 2008

who is barack obama?

Contrary to the rumors you may have heard, I was not born in a manger. I was actually born on Krypton and sent here by my father, Jor-El, to save the planet Earth…Many of you know I got my name, Barack, from my father. It’s actually Swahili for ‘That One.’ And I got my middle name, obviously, from someone who never thought I’d be running for president.


Thursday, October 16, 2008

oh mother.

i love my mother.
i really do.
but most times she works my nerves so bad.
most of my friends have been hearing my mom bullshit
to some people these would be minor problems but i'm not those people.

she's in the process of trying to teach me how to be an adult/force responsibilities upon me while still treating me like a child. this is impossible and frustrating for all parties involved
i'm forced to contribute to my tuition/school expenses and buy my own food and clothing. i COMPLETELY understand and agree with this. my problem is that my mother is usually a bitch about and nags me like i'm a child to "remind" me of doing something that i'm already doing.

she also expects me to be able to buy things that i need and take care of business all while not having a car. that little fender bender i got in at the very beginning of the school year resulted in my car being taken away. now i understand this for a short punishment period or whatnot. but i kind of need a car in order to take care of business. [example: i need to go to the optometrist next week. my mom tells me that i should take the fucking bus rather than letting me drive my car. 1) i don't do buses, 2) i don't do DURHAM buses.]

also, i am a messy person, anyone who knows me knows this. my mom has taken it upon herself to attempt to clean my room for me once a month. now a small part of me is like hey, if she wants to volunteer free maid service be my guest. but the rest is're grown you really shouldn't have your mother cleaning up after you, you can do that shit yourself [that and i really don't need her finding my liquor stash]

i guess this is growing pains and shit
fuck that.

Monday, October 13, 2008

my favorite color pt. 2

i hate more posting more than once a day but this merits it

my fucking dude. and he mentions jack?
got me paying for albums and shit.
blu for president.

this is hilarious to me

i've heard that these things exist but i didn't really believe it until i saw it myself.
what kind of dumb ass would really sent their information?

Atm card payment for fund beneficiaries.
Office of the director of operations
International credit settlement
Central Bank of Nigeria.

Attention: Beneficiary:

I am Mr. Tahir Sabo, national special adviser to president Alhaji Umaru Musa Yaradua Federal Republic of Nigeria. This is to officially inform you that we have verified your contract/inheritance file and found out that why you have not received your payment is because you have not fulfilled the obligations given to you in respect of your contract / inheritance payment.

Secondly we have been informed that you are still dealing with the none officials in the bank your entire attempt to secure the release of the fund to you. We wish to advise you that such an illegal act like this has to stop if you wish to receive your payment since we have decided to bring a
solution to your problem.

Right now we have arranged your payment through our swift card payment center Asia pacific that is the latest instruction by the president Alahji Umaru Musa Yaradua Federal Republic of Nigeria.

This card center will send you an Atm Card which you will use to withdraw your money in any atm machine in any part of the world, but the maximum is Five thousand dollars per day, so if you like to receive your fund this way please let us know by contacting the card payment center and also send the following information:

1 Your full name
2.Phone and fax number,
3.Address were you want them to send the atm card
4.Your age and current occupation
5.A copy of your identity

Rev. Seth E.Nweke.
International Credit Settlement/
Minister for Information and
National Orientation.
E-mail: email:

The Atm Card payment center has been mandated to issue out 8,300,000.00 as part payment for this fiscal year 2008. Also for your information you have to stop any further communication with any other person(s) or office(s). This is to avoid any hitches in finalizing your payment.

Email back as soon as you receive this important message for further direction in this regards and also updates me on any development from the above-mentioned office.

Note: that because of impostors, we hereby issued you our code of conduct, which is (816) so you have to indicate this code when contacting the card center.

Mr. Sabo Tahir
National Special Adviser
Tele: + 234-8033-892-187
Fax: + 234-1-759 24 11

hahaha...i love nigerians.

Sunday, October 12, 2008

now watch me.

i would never condone destroying somebody's property.

but she makes it sound so fun.

plus her album is that fire.

Saturday, October 11, 2008

the world must be coming to an end.

i like a beyonce song that i'm not ashamed of...
is she done using her voice for evil?

only time will tell

btw. i HATE her speaking voice. she should just sing only and not talk

Tuesday, October 7, 2008

future screw

just making a [technically 2nd] vid for a 2 year old song?

i'm cool with that, being the j*davey stan that i am.

i NEED some new shit though

Saturday, October 4, 2008

Wednesday, October 1, 2008



this is CLASSIC

that lamp is the happiest i've ever been about a piece of furniture

why yes, that is a zora neale hurston finger puppet

that lamp was originally white, i ended up spraypainting it

shouldn't i be doing work?
yes, yes i should.

Monday, September 29, 2008

the king of photo ops

in the rain all dramatic-like talking about brighter days and shit
can we elect dude just off GP?
or perhaps off this...

let's read what this woman said.

That's why I say I, like every American I'm speaking with, we're ill about this position that we have been put in where it is the taxpayers looking to bail out. But ultimately, what the bailout does is help those who are concerned about the health-care reform that is needed to help shore up our economy, helping the -- it's got to be all about job creation, too, shoring up our economy and putting it back on the right track. So health-care reform and reducing taxes and reining in spending has got to accompany tax reductions and tax relief for Americans. And trade, we've got to see trade as opportunity, not as a competitive, scary thing. But one in five jobs being created in the trade sector today, we've got to look at that as more opportunity. All those things under the umbrella of job creation. This bailout is a part of that.

... -_- but it's the media's fault with their goshdarn "gotcha journalism"
get the fuck outta here.

i'm gonna the bible or something...because clearly the world is going to end judging from the news. my bank just got sold...the banks in asia are starting to falter because of our banks...the rainforest is getting cut down @ 3 times the previous rate...i got this paper due by 12 that i've barely started

i need a sandwich.

Saturday, September 27, 2008


Fusing 12.3-megapixel image quality inherited from the award-winning D300 with groundbreaking features, the D90’s breathtaking, low-noise image quality is further advanced with EXPEED image processing. Split-second shutter response and continuous shooting at up to 4.5 frames-per-second provide the power to capture fast action and precise moments perfectly, while Nikon’s exclusive Scene Recognition System contributes to faster 11-area autofocus performance, finer white balance detection and more. The D90 delivers the control passionate photographers demand, utilizing comprehensive exposure functions and the intelligence of 3D Color Matrix Metering II. Stunning results come to life on a 3-inch 920,000-dot color LCD monitor, providing accurate image review, Live View composition and brilliant playback of the D90’s cinematic-quality 24-fps HD D-Movie mode.

to make a long story short...a camera with d300 capabilities and HD recording capabilities.

...i think i just got a boner.

i used to make little grainy vids of my friends with my shitty little fujifilm before i went and lost it. making little videos that just happen to be in HD? call me greedy but i want it

i need to get another job.

*also in awesome news*

pure gold.

Friday, September 26, 2008

terrorist fist jabs galore.

you find the funniest things @ 5 am

woot it's the weekend!