Sunday, October 19, 2008


those things.

i have none.
at least not all of them.

i am completely and utterly UN-empathetic
i am incapable of comforting people.

i'm incapable of being in relationships because it's very hard for me to attach to people.
this [and my shyness/awkwardness] is why it's really difficult for me to make friends. when i meet new people it's hard for me to get over that initial awkward stage. usually because i just don't care to make that small talk or relate or whatever, i kinda want to...but for some reason i just don't. i'm quite surprised i have the ones i have now.

it's slightly disturbing how easily i can cut someone out of my life and not miss that particular person, but i still feel that void at least. but i detach too easily for my liking.

i honestly have no idea what love is. i'm not even convinced that i truly love my family and friends.

on the flipside...i think i'm pretty fucking emo sometimes.
all that angsty shit. all that. but i think most of that emo shit is wondering why i'm so cold and distant and why i can't do better.

i guess that's why i like music so much.
they do my feeling for me.

i think i'm a robot.

*does the robot*


bomi said...

who have you cut out of your life???

and it's okay if you're a robot (although i don't think you are)...robots are cool

Derek said...

*does the robot*

You're thinking inwardly too much. It's a bad sign. It means you're not busy enough.

You ain't got no time fo' no man, trifflin' friends, and no deeper perspective. You should live life from one day to the other, always looking backward, and keep any ideas of this so-called self-improvement and introspection in the same place you hid your innocence.

*does the robot*