Wednesday, December 24, 2008

they still make you?!?!

i went out to dinner with one of my old friends and she brought her boyfriend along whom i had never met before.
so we were making catch-up conversation and i asked her how they got together.

basically in the beginning they met though a mutual friend [at prayer service, no less]
and one day he showed up at her apt. asking to use her phone charger and they hung out every day after that however with no official title [only hugging and holding hands, my friend is very religious]

he then said that because he they hadn't defined their relationship, they should step back to being just friends until they had decided they were on the same page, to my friend's chagrin of course since she thought they were in the midst of forming a relationship. he then suggests that they both read this book about the 10 steps of courtship [or some shit, idk] that he bought for the both of them.

on valentine's day, this guy goes and sets up a romantic evening with the stereotypical candlelit dinner, rose petals on the table and around it with a single rose on the table, while wearing a white suit. and then officially asks her to be his girlfriend.

let me repeat that.
he does all of this.
to ask her to be his girlfriend.
he did all of this for a girl that he was not dating. had not fucked. had not even kissed.

in my mind i was thinking...


this happens in real life and not in a lifetime or disney movie?

isn't this the age of - you meet somebody and you kinda hang out for a month or so and then you might make out or fuck. and then you kinda look at each other and shrug and just kinda guess you're in a relationship now or one of you just decides it by declaring you're in a relationship on facebook and the other one thinks 'hmmm i guess we are in a relationship now huh' and accepts. occasionally you'll just have one of you refer to the other in a possesive way, and you kinda just roll with it. those what are we talks are unnecessarily awkward.

all i could hear was chris rock in my head when he was talking about women who don't give head
"they still make you?!?!?!"

it didn't raise any stupid disney-like hopes that i would find someone like that because i'm not a particularly mushy romantical person. and they're extra christian while i am...not. i couldn't deal with a really religious man. but dudes don't even really try nowadays, [in the non-hollahollaholla situations i.e. meeting at a party] mostly girls kind of give guys REALLY big hints and if they're too thick-headed to notice the girl will go right out with it...and i'm too retarded for all that.

still working on that house full of dogs.

p.s. i loathe holidays. another reason why i can't have kids. they would be so depressed around this time. there would be no decorations or yuletide or even church christmas plays. they might get an unwrapped present or at best one wrapped in newspaper. and they'd have no delusions that an old fat white man gave it to them. fuck that. i bought it, they're going to know mommy worked her ass off to buy them a shitty toy made in china that they won't care about next month.

1 comment:

hb said...

wow... that's a story.
its so cute it makes me sick.
i know that i would love for someone to do that for me but... i also feel like i'd be uneasy and uncomfortable if someone did something that romantic and cute and sappy.

i think i was more aware of it this year, i also dislike holidays. Mainly Christmas. It just reminds me that my birthday are a few days later.
and if and when i do have kids, let me tell you... it would be a stuffed animal or a savings bond for college or something.