seriously random babbling

1. the problem with blogging. i like blogging my thoughts and what not...but then when i'm made aware that people actually read what i say i tend to retreat from saying anything because i feel like i sound stupid and don't publish anything. most of time when i blog it's very tongue-in-cheek/sarcastic and sometimes i don't feel that comes across well without the assistance of voice and someone reading might think i'm either kinda stupid or a super asshole. i am an asshole...but a nice one.
i don't seem to update as often because i'll start writing something and just save the draft, and in my silly head i blogged something. working on it...so here's me basically sounding stupid at 4 am.

dos.
i honestly wish i had majored in photojournalism. that way i could have access to amazing ass cameras and accessories and classes. i randomly get concepts for photo-essays but have no way to actually bring them into fruition.

4. i'm trying really hard to go back to pesco-vegetarianism. modern meat is just really gross when you actually know what exactly they do to it. i was just ignoring it. but 'it tastes good' sounds silly when you're eating that genetic freak artificially inseminated turkey sandwich or diseased corn-fed beef. if food was reared the natural way i'd be saying 'where's the beef?' but now...nah son

trois.
movies kinda suck lately...like aren't directors tired of making/actors tired of acting in different incarnations of the same damn story? i.e. the blind side, any black "first" movie, any buddy cop movie that has the black guy acting a fool and the stuffy white guy *looking at you bruce willis, tracey morgan is certifiably crazy but really bruce?* and coughavatarcough

b.
i really dislike valentine's day. people are like *oh it's a day to love yourself, it doesn't have to be romantic love, it's a celebration of all love* ...those people are dirty liars. being single is not that bad until you're reminded of it by people and their stupid ass love. yeah it's a commercialized holiday but so is christmas and you don't see everybody and their bitter ass cousin ray-ray hating on it. everybody deep down, no matter how much they lie, would not mind someone making them feel extra-special on a pre-designated day so that they can look forward to it. it doesn't have to include stupid ass teddy bears and cards, but something planned that makes you feel all fuzzy and sappy

c.
facebook ruins crushes. you meet someone cute, add them on facebook. read their interests and realize they have horrible taste in everything. crush over. like seriously, if you openly admit that 'i don't read'...stop breathing.

insert number.
i'm sick and tired of being sick and tired of hearing about black women and their black man shortage. honestly i don't really care. i wasn't really banking on ending up with a black dude being a colleged educated black woman where we outnumber black men enough, heaven forbid if i go to grad school. what pisses me off is all these "black relationship gurus" seem to act like us negresses are asking for too much for wanting to be with someone in the same intellectual sphere that we're in.

black dudes don't seem to like me much anyway.
-i don't like dudes that cite lil wayne as their favorite rapper
-i dislike the use of the phrase 'grown & sexy' which seems to be the name of the gatherings where all these "desirable" black men congregate
-i have low tolerance for misogyny and shenanigans
-i've been told that i have a dominant personality? i don't believe it but whatevs
-i'm a little strange
-and on top of that i have natural hair (argue your personal anecdotal evidence if you like, but in my personal anecdotal evidence most black dudes (like >50% but <90%) prefer girls with straight hair or actively dislike natural hair unless it's the loosely curled "mixed girl hair" *of course that's in quotes because plenty of directly mixed girls have super kinky hair while some black girls don't*)

that eliminates like...80% of black dudes and probably the majority of dudes of other races too.
this is why i'm getting a dog.
i'm being hyperbolic...slightly


why am i single? why don't guys seem to like me? i'm no beyonce (HA) but i damn sure ain't the ugliest thing for a 10 mile radius. i'm cute! i'm smart! i'm funny! i'm witty! i read books! i can cook! i have big boobs! i'm not clingy! i use exclamation points in an exagerrated fashion! banana!

and that ladies & gents, is the making of my eharmony profile.
ha.


and now i shall pretend to sleep before class @ 10 am knowing that i have accomplished at least one thing today. next time will be much less scattered.