been on repeat all day...

vanity.

self-portraiture on a bored sleepless tuesday morning.
my face in all it's un-made up glory.










gratuitous hair blog coming up soon?
most likely.

dear blu.

dear blu.
aka johnson barnes
can i call you john?
i love that your last name is barnes so that when i marry you in my dreams i don't actually have to change my last name.
frankly.
i love you.
you made me care about hip hop again.
(and you're cute and super-tall and witty but that's neither here, there, nor anywhere)
i even own a shirt with your face on it.
i don't do that often.
you release pure and utter gold

and then you fade to black.
doing a feature here and there is unacceptable
please stop playing with my emotions.

it was so nice of you to perform in raleigh on my 20th birthday this year.
please release another album by my 21st.
that would be grand.

thanks in advance.

lyrics to go V

Herfra hvor vi står,
kan vi se os omkring - til alle sider
Det bevæger sig når vi går
det forandrer sig i alle tider.

Vi har talt sammen næsten hele natten
og her der er vi så gået i stå.
Rundt om ligger folk og sover
jeg ved ikke rigtigt, hvorhen vi skal gå.

i've had this song on repeat for the past 2 days because for some odd reason it calms me...
then i googled the lyrics translation

From where we stand,
we see around us - on all sides
It moves when we go
it is changing at all times.

We talked almost all night
and here are we so stalled.
Around people are asleep
I do not really know where we should go.

...interesting

swimming

if you've read my blog before and you don't rock with little dragon by now, FAIL.

disjointed rant

*feel free to ignore this*

i haven't blogged in a while because i've simply lacked motivation to talk about anything...anything that does interest me has been overblogged and done to the point that anything i would write would just be unnecessary assholish fluff

i have no motivation...i average about 4 hrs of sleep a night doing absolutely nothing...
i envy those who know what they want to do after graduation since they have a goal to work towards...i honestly have absolutely no clue...so it's just like wtf am i doing this for? but then again most of those things that people know they are doing are things i have no interest in (law school, med school, teach for awhile)
they (who the fuck are they?) say that college is the best years of your life before you have real responsibilities...if these are the best years, i am fucked.


everything and everyone bores me.
everybody with their preening, and posing, and look-at-me-ness...it's sensory overload. and i'm a hypocrite! what am i doing now? talking about me me me.

i need minimalism...maybe i'll pull a janelle monae and only wear black and white and let my mind be the color

blah i'm just sick of everything
sick of school...i have b's in all my classes, this does not make me happy or sad...i don't care.
sick of work
sick of my face
but not sick of my hair...though i am sick of talking about it
sick of being ignored
sick of being seen
sick of halfass awards shows
sick of name brand clothes
sick of r&b bitches over bullshit tracks

i'm not even making sense anymore...
maybe i just need sleep.

doodles...

i get bored in class. i doodle.
i get bored at home. i take pictures of it.
i get more bored. i post them on blogger.
boom.










say crack one more time - © mean girls
just seeing the word crack in big letters in my notebook makes me giggle a bit.

lyrics to go IV

when i saw you last night
i wanted to say
run away with me
away from these cynics
this could be the start of
something truly real
but all that i could say
was hey
was hey
was hey
was hey

my mercury's in retrogade.

my retarded hair.

*procrastinationatory babble*

i know i'm not the only kinky headed gal who has this problem, but it's almost comical how different my hair textures are. i literally can't rock a wash&go because i tend to look ridiculous.

here are pics i took the other day freshly washed and squeeze dried with a tshirt with no added hair products.
my hair is pretty much the same length all over but my sides shrink a lot more than what i like to call the mohawk area (the loose texture goes straight back like a mohawk)




you can literally see the point where my hair changes its mind on what it wants to be lol.

my front middle flops onto my forehead and i have to push it back up so that it won't look weird compared to the sides *ignore my makeupless acne'd untamed eyebrowed face, however note the displeasure*




my mohawk area, for the most part, acts right regardless of what i do to it and is obviously a lot looser. my kinky sides...they do not care whatsoever what i desire or what i think about them. i guess i can respect that. they laugh hysterically at any moisturizer i put on them, swallow it in one gulp and look at me expectantly for more. the back of the sides have almost no definition when dry while the back of the middle is springy curls...it looks crazy.



top 'o my head



back 'o my head.



after these were taken i promptly twisted my hair since twists make my hair pretend like it's one cohesive texture.

does anyone else have this problem? what do you do? i hate looking like i got a texturizer just in the middle of my head...i'm considering putting one on my sides, but i feel that it could go horribly awry...

▲❍▼❏

blahh...i've been bogged down with schoolwork and life bs.

here are some pictures sans photoshop. my hard drive was wiped so i'm photoshopless and am stuck using only picasa.

love is real vols 1-4 are...well...love.