Wednesday, September 23, 2009

ughh still?

i was talking to one of my old friends from high school, somehow the conversation turned to hair and i casually mentioned that she would look cute with a fro.

"i'm too dark for that"


mind you my friend is gorgeous. perfect figure, perfect clear skin, perfect white teeth which subsequently leads to a perfect smile and she has great fashion sense. yet somehow she still has jacked up color and hair issues which i have long given up on fixing

when we were in high school and i had long hair, she would always offhandedly remark on how since i'm lightskinned [that's subjective, i don't think i am] and had long hair that life was easier for me and i shouldn't complain about anything ever. and she also told me that i could do that "natural shit" because i'm light and cute and have "good" hair [i don't, lol] mind you, this girl shits on me, in my opinion, in all areas of physical attractiveness, but she never believes me when i tell her this.

but then again i don't live her life, so i can't speak for what she goes through

when i gave my subsequent silly not serious/but serious response and then asked 'how are you too dark for the hair that grows out of your head'
she replied, life isn't fair/doesn't make sense, but it is what it is.

i refuse to believe that.

i feel like the majority of people that have a problem with natural hair are other black people. white people fucking love my hair. i'm sure that is partly due to it being "different". but the most compliments and encouragement i ever got to go natural and after i did so (other than from other naturals) was from non-black people. just the other day an indian girl (the people that be-weaved dreams are literally made of) stopped me to tell me how pretty my hair was.

once again, how can one be too anything for something that naturally occurs on their bodies. that's like saying i'm too short for this nose. it makes no sense.
now if she just said that she preferred to have straightened hair i wouldn't have cared since i'm not a "natural nazi" (i hate the casual use of the word nazi) and i think you should do whatever with your hair that makes you happy. but assuming that you would be ugly with it because of your skin? i guess that goes back to the posts on the hair blogs about how some think only "pretty" girls can be natural. i think my friend is gorgeous, but maybe she doesn't think so...

blah. maybe i'm reading too much into it. maybe it's the same as not wanting to be without bangs because you have a big ass forehead. i don't think it is though...


mzd said...


Beautifully.Conjured.Up said...

I don't know why we still hold onto these lies about ourselves due to our skin tone...

...I hope your friend gets out of it...

revolution girl said...

i completely understand where you're coming from, i had a similar experience last weekend in re: black women and natural hair.

i was volunteering with an organization from school and an older black woman in her 50s told me how much she "loved my hair" but could never do it herself because she has "kunta kinte hair." i thanked her and smiled, only because she is my elder and i didn't want to be disrespectful in questioning her. i am a dark-skinned woman with "traditional african features" and if you ask me, my hair is beautifully nappy (LOL.) but according to this woman, i had hair "that waves up and looks all nice short"--even though i have the definition of a TWA, i doubt it's easy to tell my hair texture from it. it was odd.

anyway, just a lurker delurking to share an experience. it bothers me SO. MUCH. when black people say, "oh i could never wear MY NATURAL HAIR bc i don't have this skin color/this feature/this kind of hair." what?! it's your natural hair, and chances are it'll look 100 times better than being fried, dyed, and wishing it room to sigh.

Chanel said...

My family ALWAYS say that to me!! "oh you can have natural hair cuz you got that good grade of hair" or "well, you're mixed so your hair is different. mine is just nappy"
I'm like, UMMMM that is not why I went natural!! GET IT TOGETHER.

Also, I get most of my compliments/encouragement from white people as well! My white boyfriend loooves it. Actually, a lot of white guys are always like, wow you're hair is awesome, how do you do that?