friends.

so i had this friend right.

we went to high school together and were cool up until pretty recently. i began to notice that our friendship was becoming one-sided with me initiating most of the conversation/contact. this friend only contacted me when she wanted/needed me to do something for her. never to just hang out or go out to lunch/dinner.

this friend and i have birthdays that are a day apart. hers is the day before mine and i went to a dinner for her and bought her a card and went to her house afterward. now on my birthday...i do not recall her wishing me happy birthday nor did i receive a card. it's not like she could have forgotten.

now we were in a little "clique" if you will. and all of the other girls in the group were getting perturbed with her behavior in that she only talks to people when she wants something or is bored. other than that she basically sits in her room and talks to her boyfriend on the phone when she isn't at work or in class. she lives with one of my best friends and my best friend had been having a problem with that friend for a while. and after listening to all of us complain about her ways, her simply not recognizing my birthday when she claims to be a good friend to me, in addition to her bitching about nobody caring about her birthday when she doesn't talk to anyone and we still planned a dinner for her, set my friend off.

so after my good friend and their roommate told her about herself and how she was being a user. you would think she would take a step back and try to reevaluate herself in order to better her friendships right?

of course not.

she claims that we are simply ganging up on her and we don't understand what she's going through even though she doesn't tell anyone her problems since she uses the bitch logic that we should just know what's wrong with her without her having to say anything. so she simply stops talking to everyone in the group [mind you i have not said ANYTHING to her about the qualms i may or may not have.] i have been told that i enabled her because i am beyond nice to her [despite what people think, once you're my friend i will go out of my way for you with a smile on my face] even though she's a shitty friend. i have even initiated conversations with her [on the internet AND on the phone offering her comfort after a shitty personal incident of hers that i somehow got involved in because the person causing her problem called me] after this incident in an effort to gauge her reaction. does she do the same with me? of course not

AND SHE THINKS SHE IS THE VICTIM AND THAT WE [MY GROUP OF FRIENDS] DID HER WRONG

now. does this make sense to you? please explain this to me. clearly i'm too fucking nice.

ugh...bitches.

maaaaaajor laaaaazer

anyone who knows me knows that i looooooove diplo. and now he's putting out an album with uk dj switch under the collective name of major lazer.

the bio of "major lazer" on 'rcrdlbl' reads

Major Lazer is a Jamaican commando who lost his arm in the secret Zombie War of 1984. The US military rescued him and repurposed ... (more) experimental lazers as prosthetic limbs. Since then Major Lazer has been a hired renegade soldier for a rogue government operating in secrecy underneath the watch of M5 and the CIA. His cover is that of a dancehall night club owner from Trinidad and he enlisted the help of long-time allies and uber-producers, Diplo and Switch, to produce his first LP. His true mission is to protect the world from the dark forces of evil that live just under the surface of a civilized society. He fights vampires and various monsters, parties hard, and has a rocket powered skateboard.
As part of a plan to subdue the forces of evil with a batch of futuristic dancehall bangers, the three encamped at Tuff Gong Studios in Jamaica to record the Major Lazer record. The product of this collaboration is Guns Don’t Kill People… Lazers Do, a collection of tracks that draws from the rich dancehall tradition of Jamaica, the futuristic dance-floor-killing aesthetic of Diplo and Switch, and contributions from some of the biggest names in dancehall today. The record runs global pop culture through the filter of Major Lazer’s particular brand of 80’s-inspired digital dancehall, at once an homage to a bygone era and a look to the future of dance music.

Lazer Boom 1 - Major lazer

p.s. imeem sucks.

jesus christ. the song they dropped with santigold and the album mix has been on repeat in el zune since it was released. why must i wait until june?!?!?!

beyonce.

i have no problem with the woman.
she's beautiful.
she can sing...ballads. [majority of her uptempo shit is beyond retarded]
i'm pretty sure she's a nice person.


BUT THE BITCH CAN'T ACT.

can people PLEASE stop putting her in movies? one of my friends loves anything beyonce and says that i should support a black woman doing her thing.

no.

i'll support a black woman when i like what she does. i don't owe beyonce my $7 to watch her shitty movie just because she's black.

i just found out that she's going to play eartha kitt in a movie.
why?
i was surprised someone even cast her in a movie where she doesn't have to sing in the predictable shit sandwich, fatal attraction knockoff, 'obsession'. but then i learned that her and her father are producing it.

how predictable.

stuff like this makes me mad because they keep putting her in movies, knowing she can't act just on the hopes that her name will draw some money. while that particular movie could have been made awesome by a no-name yet talented black actress who finally gets a big break. but new actors/actresses are being stifled by studios putting non-talented rappers/singers in these roles just to get some stupid asses in the seats.

i never know how to properly end blogs...

...wait...what?

so my aunt picture messages my mom a pic of my little cousin who had her hair flat ironed and it reached her butt and said that she had hair just like my mom's

*all of my aunts have very thin hair but my mom had ridonkulously long [butt length un-straightened] hair when she was young*


so i asked..."ummm why did you get a perm, again?"

"because it was really long and thick"


*blank stare*




oh what a horrible problem to have.
wouldn't a simple haircut remedy that?
blah.

preference.

so the longer i get settled into this natural thing and reading my natural hair blogs, the more i develop a preference for people with natural hair.

i remember in social psych [i hate social psych, i feel like it's a waste of money paying people to do tons of research to tell us shit we already know] one of the few new things i learned was that once people make decisions, they then look for things that support their thoughts and look for bad things about the choice that they rejected [it has a technical name, but i never went to that class...]

i've always had a preference for men with curly hair/fros/dreads (basically anything i can pull/grab except cornrows) but i used (like up until i was 17) to think that the only way that a girl could be pretty , if she didn't have "good" hair, was to have it be straightened. now i find straight hair boring and i don't like the way most perms look on people. i also have found myself for the past year or so always complimenting girls with natural hair.

i miss playing in my hair due to these damn braids. i was sick of them after a week, but since my mom paid for them, i'm stuck until at least the end of may.

my potential chopping dates are either in june [6 months], august [when school starts], or december [1 year]. which one should i do?

virginity.

am i the only female that thinks it's really not that serious?

i still have my v-card, but not for some dumb "oh it's a gift, i'm saving it until i'm in love blahblahblah" reason. i just haven't had a serious enough relationship where having sex was a reasonable idea.

i would like to know that you have another girl/have children/like to beat bitches/think africa is a country, before i fuck you, not after. i tend to talk to guys and realize early on that they will annoy the shit out of me, why waste my time (and body) on them? i don't feel like i need to be in love. but i at least have to know that you respect me and won't be an asshole. why is that so hard to find?

but girls who think they're special because they're virgins irritate me. so does this mean you won't be special anymore after you do it? basing part of your identity on something so (hopefully) temporary is stupid to me. saving it until marriage is completely unfeasible in this day and age and kinda dumb. why marry someone before you know what you like? and then if they suck in bed you're kinda stuck. i mean i guess i understand for religious reasons, but even christians need to be in tune with their bodies.


in conclusion: have sex.

cee-lo green and his perfect imperfections.

i remember when i first saw this video, i was 13 and i thought that 106 & park/trl was the utmost in music and entertainment i was like "ew this is weird"




but now i know how ridiculously dope cee-lo is and his album 'cee-lo green and his perfect imperfections' has been on repeat for the past week




-well damn 'lo, what don't you do?
-bullshit!

*on that note i'll stop bullshitting and write this paper, lol

wtf

am i the only person who saw this commercial and wanted to write a strongly worded letter to the burger king people?
and i am by no means a prude. but sometimes little things bother me.

talk about objectification.
square or not, it's still chicks shaking their asses...FOR KID'S MEALS!
REALLY?!
i'd see if it were people in general dancing with square asses, but it's just women.

if it wasn't for kid's meals i'd still think it was kind of wack but ignored it
but really?
and people are like it's just adults taking it too seriously and kid's won't think anything about it.
and then when they see susie dropping it like it's hot it's everybody elses's fault

how you doing beautiful?

"damn you must have a man as fine as you are"

that's an annoying assumption.
but thank you mr. 30 year old dominos delivery man.

why do guys that are my age not flirt with me?
if they are my age they're usually hood niggas
my country/suburban ass can't handle all that.
apparently different types of dudes will approach me after i chop my hair off.
not really in the mood for the 'we are the universe and the universe is ours', kufi wearing, incense burning dudes either.
i like to curse, drink liquor, eat meat, and dance to ridiculous electro-pop.


blah.
death month.
bring on the red bull/5 hour energy shots.
[not back to back, tried that once and it was a VERY bad idea]
i'm pretty sure a study will come out 10 years from now saying 5hr energy shots cause cancer.

love.

from 3:10 on makes my world.

_________

the early bird gets the worm
and i don't even go to sleep...
-blu

this lyric randomly popped into my head as i was walking outside @ 5:30 a.m. [don't ask] and a little bird just hopped across my path with a worm hanging from its mouth. i just started laughing out loud since i was the only person there anyway.

of all the times to not have my camera.


clearly i really need to sleep more.

theme music.

i'm still amazed at how long i let this gem languish on my computer a year and some change ago.
'place to belong' is currently my theme music for the week.
it's one of the few albums where i don't skip songs.
you should buy it if you don't have it.

rah rah.

Franklin Street: The Celebration from The Daily Tar Heel on Vimeo.


i was very intimate with about 1000 people being almost crushed and by the end of the night my hair smelled like sweat and smoke.

so worth it.

quiet before the storm...

i had a GREAT weekend.
free food + friends/family + BLU
being 20 isn't so bad

it would be great if i had a computer to put up pictures.

and now the downward slope towards finals and wanting to die.

blah.

hypocrisy.

so today i was reminded how black women are such hypocrites when it comes to interracial relationships, and how i don't really care.

today i was at work and 2 of my good friends came over, one of them noticed an attractive well dressed black dude and was wondering who he was and blahblahblah. although i don't know him personally i knew who he was and also the fact that he tends to date white girls.

*insert our collective groan and rolling of eyes*

however
both of these friends tend to be interested in/date white men.

one of my friends immediately enters extreme ABW [angry black woman] syndrome any time interracial relationships are even discussed or seen on tv or in person.

hell, a biracial black/latina girl wrote in our school newspaper about how she hates seeing black men with nonblack women which confused even me since without black men dating nonblack womem, she wouldn't be alive.


hence our blatant hypocrisy.
but i completely understand it.

people are attracted to people of other races, that's normal since we're all human [more or less] but i think most of the time some black women believe that if a black man is attracted to a non-black woman that means that he is not attracted to black women. now sometimes that actually is true. but usually it isn't.

whereas black woman believe that if they see a black woman with a nonblack man, well it must be true love. sometimes that's true, sometimes it isn't.
and black women seem to fawn over nonblack men who tend to like black women which actually seems like some low ass collective self-esteem. it's like somebody who isn't black thinks we're pretty! he must be extra special! -_-


really, we all just need to chill out and not care what other people do. if a black dude actually actively doesn't date black women, then clearly you wouldn't have wanted his wack ass anyway so you're obviously not missing out on anything.
my philosophy in life is, if you don't like me, clearly you're wack. [obviously i was raised by an extremely self-confident mother]


but i will still laugh the next time my friend enters ABW mode and let out a silent groan when i see an attractive black guy with a non-black girl, especially if she isn't attractive.


because i'm a hypocrite like that.